CHICAGO—Despite having just completed a brief, wholly satisfactory down-tempo song-and-dance number followed by a brief pause that led many to believe he had completed all singing and dancing, tuxedoed entertainer Rick Werner, 29, made it clear Tuesday that he was just getting started. After being tossed a top hat and cane by an unidentified offstage associate, Werner performed high kicks in time to three brassy, ascending notes as a large curtain rose behind him to reveal approximately four dozen identically dressed performers. "Hey, now that's the stuff," Werner said as he stepped sideways across the stage making tight, circular motions with flat-palmed hands. "Cha." At press time, dazzled sources had not yet confirmed whether the stage was retracting to reveal a pool full of synchronized swimmers.
More News in Brief
Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria
WASHINGTON—According to a national poll conducted by the Pew Research Center Monday, the vast majority of Americans are currently more concerned about the demise ...
New Documentary To Finally Shed Light On Nation’s Fast Food Chains
WASHINGTON—Americans across the country expressed their excitement Wednesday over the upcoming release of Value Meal, a feature-length documentary that will, at long last, shed ...
After One Realizes Methadone Clinic Nearby, Behavior Around City Block Makes Sense
NEW YORK—Though he was once confused by the number of frail, seemingly mentally unstable people concentrated around the Houston and Broadway area of Manhattan ...



4
