0WASHINGTON, DC– With the presidential-succession crisis threatening to drag on for months, U.S. Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-SC) began the process of assembling his Cabinet Monday. "See here, I believe I'll take Lester Maddox as my Secretary of War," said the 97-year-old Thurmond, who, as president pro tempore of the Senate, is second in line for the White House if the president-elect is not determined by Inauguration Day. "And that Orval Faubus would do a fine job as Secretary of Slaves, he surely would." Thurmond said he has not yet decided who would head the Department of Cows and Chickens.
More News in Brief
Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System
WEST HAVEN, CT—Following Microsoft’s official unveiling of their latest video game console Tuesday, 41-year-old father of two Richard Shearer excitedly told his son ...
2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite Horrific
WASHINGTON—Citing a succession of tragedies that have darkened the majority of 2013, including the Boston Marathon bombing, the Bangladeshi garment building collapse, and yesterday ...
Man Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain
AMARILLO, TX—Frequently mentioning the fact that his hometown of Corpus Christi, TX also happens to be the birthplace of Whataburger, local 31-year-old Chad Derringer ...
