CARSON CITY, NV—In an effort to promote diversity within their political base, national Tea Party leaders gathered today in Nevada's capital to announce their intention to embrace more coloreds in the lead-up to the 2010 midterm elections. "We're bringing new voices and perspectives into the movement every day, and the addition of some more coloreds is only the beginning," Tea Party spokesman Michael Kealey told reporters, adding that he was "excited to welcome Negroes into the fold." "The time has come for everyone, Orientals even, to take America back." Kealey went on to say that the inclusion of homos in the movement would be "out of the question," unless they were the normal kind.
More News in Brief
Grown Adult Walks Right Into Karate Studio
CAPE CORAL, FL—Marcus Webster, a full-grown adult with a job, responsibilities, and who stopped being 10 years old over 25 years ago, was observed ...
Woman Apparently Wants To Smell Edible
SAN FRANCISCO—Using such products as pineapple-scented shampoo and raspberry sorbet body wash, 28-year-old Stephanie Holden apparently likes to smell like she wants other people ...
Fans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern Cinema
NEW YORK—Self-proclaimed fans of artificially sleek movies that at no point appear as though they contain real human beings onscreen in real locations doing ...



2
