GRESHAM, OR—After spending half an hour Monday instilling much-needed confidence in one of her most timid freshmen, Sam Barlow High School English teacher Karen Norgren, 48, expressed her desire to one day inspire one of the school's more popular students. "It would be nice, just once, to make a real, lasting impression on a confident, athletic student with tons of friends," said Norgren, who has reportedly grown tired of encouraging "dowdy old Phil Van" every day after fourth period. "Someone like Jason Feightner, for instance. He's got that cool, devil-may-care attitude. Guys want to be him, and girls want to be with him. Why can't I push him to reach his full potential?" Norgren then reportedly waited around in the senior parking lot in case Whitney Olsen or some of her friends wanted to chat about Things Fall Apart.
More News in Brief
Grown Adult Walks Right Into Karate Studio
CAPE CORAL, FL—Marcus Webster, a full-grown adult with a job, responsibilities, and who stopped being 10 years old over 25 years ago, was observed ...
Woman Apparently Wants To Smell Edible
SAN FRANCISCO—Using such products as pineapple-scented shampoo and raspberry sorbet body wash, 28-year-old Stephanie Holden apparently likes to smell like she wants other people ...
Fans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern Cinema
NEW YORK—Self-proclaimed fans of artificially sleek movies that at no point appear as though they contain real human beings onscreen in real locations doing ...



0
