1891 and 1895: United States athletes invent two much more entertaining games with a soccer ball

1950: Unaware they could take on new players to replace old ones, the U.S. loses 12-1 with the same team that played in 1930's World Cup

1954: One of the most talented U.S. squads in history is still unable to qualify after failing to send in its World Cup application on time

1958: The world knew the U.S. team was destined for failure when it unveiled its one-name soccer sensation, "Bert"

1986: The U.S. fails to qualify after Paul Caligiuri hits what is commonly regarded as the worst corner kick in the history of the world

1988: This year is considered the rebirth of American soccer after enough people sign up to have a national team

1990: The United States is quickly eliminated after losing to the United States 1-0

1994: This incarnation of the U.S. team probably did okay because people still kind of recognize the names Tony Meola and Alexi Lalas

1999: The U.S. women's team wins the World Cup