Teen Smoking On The Rise

American Voicespatriotism ISSUE 33•17 May 6, 1998

Despite the recent passage of numerous laws prohibiting tobacco manufacturers from marketing to minors, last week it was reported that teen smoking is on the rise in the U.S. What do you think?

  • “I don't understand why teen smoking is up. Haven't we made it clear to kids that smoking is a dangerous, forbidden thing meant for older people?”

    Gina Revering –
    Systems Analyst

  • “I stopped smoking when I realized I could get one of those cool tracheotomy voice boxes without having cancer.”

    Stu Colavito –
    Mechanical Engineer

  • “If anyone should be smoking, it's kids. You never hear about them dying of lung cancer.”

    Tony Fuller –
    Bookstore Owner

  • “Perhaps Nancy Reagan could sit down and talk to these kids.”

    Todd Pollack –
    Dietitian

  • “As a public educator, I'm at a loss to explain this. Do you think the hip posters, the 'totally rad' anti-smoking sock hops and Dobie The Don't Smoke Donkey are having some sort of negative effect?”

    Iris Diamondopoulis –
    Teacher

  • “These statistics are misleading. The higher rate of teen smoking is merely a symptom of the higher rate of teen fucking.”

    Zachary Roth –
    Florist

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