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    Ten Years Later: A Look Back On The World Since 9/11

    Slideshow • 911 • ISSUE 47•37 • Sep 11, 2011
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    • U.S. Vows To Defeat Whoever It Is We're At War With

      WASHINGTON, DC—In a televised address to the American people Tuesday, a determined President Bush vowed that the U.S. would defeat "whoever exactly it is we're at war with here."
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    • Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell

      JAHANNEM, OUTER DARKNESS—The hijackers who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon expressed confusion and surprise Monday to find themselves in the lowest plane of Na'ar, Islam's Hell.
      2 of 12
    • God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule

      NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.
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    • New Bomb Capable Of Creating 1,500 New Terrorists In Single Blast

      4 of 12
    • Dead Iraqi Would Have Loved Democracy

      BAGHDAD, IRAQ—Baghdad resident Taha Sabri, killed Monday in a U.S. air strike on his city, would have loved the eventual liberation of Iraq and establishment of democracy, had he lived to see it, his grieving widow said.
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    • Osama Bin Laden Found Inside Each Of Us

      WASHINGTON, DC—Osama bin Laden was found hiding deep inside the darkest regions of our souls.
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    • Latest Bin Laden Videotape Wishes America 'A Crappy Valentine's Day'

      WASHINGTON, DC—A new videotape of Osama bin Laden broadcast on the Arab satellite news channel Al-Jazeera Monday beseeched Allah to grant all Americans a
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    • NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole

      NEW YORK—New York Governor George Pataki thanked President Bush for providing
      8 of 12
    • Giuliani To Run For President Of 9/11

      NEW YORK—Supporters of the former mayor praised Giuliani for his "early and unwavering commitment" to 9/11
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    • Cheney Waits Until Last Minute Again To Buy Sept. 11 Gifts

      WASHINGTON—According to Cheney, it is a time to reflect and give thanks for all the benefits and blessings of 9/11.
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    • Smart, Qualified People Behind The Scenes Keeping America Safe: 'We Don't Exist'

      WASHINGTON—Members of the brilliant, highly trained, and dedicated team of elite professionals who work tirelessly behind the scenes to protect our nation and keep its citizens out of harm’s way announced Tuesday that they do not exist.
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    • Nation Would Rather Think About 9/11 Than Anything From Subsequent 10 Years

      NEW YORK—As media coverage of the 10th anniversary of 9/11 ramps up this week, citizens across the United States collectively realized they would rather think about the terrorist attacks of 2001 than about anything else that has transpired in the su...
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