Pre-winter bone-chilling cold
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Terrorism

    Slideshow • terrorism • ISSUE 47•29 • Jul 21, 2011
    • Facebook35
    • Twitter37
    • Google Plus6
    • After 5 Years In U.S., Terrorist Cell Too Complacent To Carry Out Attack

      SAN CLEMENTE, CA—
      1 of 11
    • Conceptual Terrorists Encase Sears Tower In Jell-O

      CHICAGO—The attackers made it clear America's outdated notion of terrorism has been challenged, and that true terror lies in the futility of human existence.
      2 of 11
    • Terrorist Has No Idea What To Do With All This Plutonium

      ZAHEDAN, IRAN—Yaquub Akhtar said the only thing his confusing weapons of mass destruction are destroying is his ability to kill infidels.
      3 of 11
    • God Outdoes Terrorists Yet Again

      Officials Uncertain Whether To Save Or Shoot Victims

Nation's Politicians Applaud Great Job They're Doing

Area Man Drives Food There His Goddamned Self

Bush: 'It Has Been Brought To My Attention That There Was Recently A Bad Storm'
      4 of 11
    • Suicide Bomber Killed En Route By Car Bomb

      BAGHDAD—Terrorist cells in Baghdad are in mourning for suicide bomber Ahmed al-Khalaf, 19, who was killed by a car bomb Monday, 200 yards from an Iraqi police station, his intended target.
      5 of 11
    • Local Fox Affiliate Debuts Terror-Alert Van

      MURFREESBORO, TN—Touting itself as
      6 of 11
    • Russia Reiterates Zero-Tolerance Policy For Terrorists, Hostages

      MOSCOW (Sept. 3)—In response to the ongoing hostage situation at a middle school in the town of Beslan in North Ossetia, Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin firmly reiterated his nation's hard-line policy against terrorists and their hostages Tuesday.
      7 of 11
    • Local Sheriff Suspects Al-Qaeda Or Teens

      BARABOO, WI—Sauk County Sheriff Virgil "Butch" Steinhorst announced Tuesday that he believes a recent rash of Baraboo-area crimes was perpetrated by the al-Qaeda terrorist network or teenagers.
      8 of 11
    • Department Of Homeland Security Deputizes Real Mean Dog

      WASHINGTON, DC—Unveiling its newest weapon in the fight against terrorism Monday, the Department of Homeland Security announced the deputization of Rufus, a big ol' mongrel ornery enough to make Al Qaeda think twice about carrying out an attack against the U.S.
      9 of 11
    • Terrorist Extremely Annoyed By Delayed Flight

      CHICAGO–His flight from O'Hare to LaGuardia delayed more than six hours, Hamas militant and would-be suicide bomber Nidal Hanani vowed never again to fly United Airlines.
      10 of 11
    • Terrorist Bomb Not Defused In Thrilling, Suspense-Packed Final Minutes

      LONDON—An action-packed chase through the subway tunnels beneath London's famed Victoria Station, culminating in a climactic, pulse-pounding fight sequence atop a speeding double-decker bus, did not occur Monday, when a terrorist bomb exploded on a crowded downtown bus after not being defused at the very last moment.
      11 of 11
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Vatican

      • Patriotism

      • Automotive

      • Political Scandals

      • The Week In Pictures

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    LIFESTYLE

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    ENTERTAINMENT

    Recent News

    Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of SyriaNew Documentary To Finally Shed Light On Nation’s Fast Food ChainsAfter One Realizes Methadone Clinic Nearby, Behavior Around City Block Makes SenseEcstatic American Indians Praise 'The Lone Ranger'Fully Leveled-Up Video Game Character Marvels At How Far He's ComeAudience At Press Conference Relieved To Hear Steps Will Be TakenKidnapping Going Pretty Smoothly

    Recent Videos

    Will Season Four Of ‘Downton Abbey’ Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

    The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'Single Woman Has Facebook Profile Picture With Sister

    • TV: Newswire: Paula Deen reportedly cooks up a platter of crispy, Southern-fried racism

    • Music: Hear This: "Deacon Blues," Scotch, Steely Dan, and other intergenerational appreciations

    • Film: Watch This: Wes Craven's The Serpent And The Rainbow returns zombies to their Haitian roots

    • I Hate Whatever Today Is Mug

    • WTF Stamp

    • Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody

    • How To Survive Being Shot Point Blank In The Chest - Dr. Good - Ep 7.

    • Will Season Four Of 'Downton Abbey' Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

    • A.V. Undercover: Alpine Covers Radiohead

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved