It's snowing today and Abundant Life Christian Academy is the only one with the balls to stay open
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    Texans vs. Bears

    Keys To The Matchup • Sports • ISSUE 48•46 • Nov 11, 2012
    • Facebook543
    • Twitter336
    • Google Plus2

    The Texans battle the Bears in what could be a high-scoring defensive shootout.

    Texans vs. Bears
    See full image
    PreviousCeltics vs. HeatNextSteelers v. Ravens

    Recently in Keys To The Matchup See More >

    SPORTS

    SPORTS

    SPORTS

    SPORTS

    SPORTS

    SPORTS

    Recent News

    Edward Snowden’s Life Just Flat-Out Fun And ExcitingAsshole Awarded For Asshole Behavior By Business Community LeadersGrown Adult Walks Right Into Karate StudioWoman Apparently Wants To Smell EdibleFans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern CinemaBashar Al-Assad Introduces Syrian Bike-Sharing ProgramDick Van Dyke Finally Confesses To Zodiac Killings

    Recent Videos

    Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times 

    Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In AwhileEconomists: People Who Paint Selves Silver And Pretend To Be Statues Make Average Of $10 Million Per Year

    • Film: AVQ&A: What upcoming 2013 entertainment are you most anticipating?

    • TV: Random Roles: Allison Jones on casting Arrested Development guests, freaks, geeks, a virgin, and hard-rockin' zombies

    • TV: What's On Tonight?: Gravity Falls finishes a first season that seems to have lasted for several decades

    • WTF Desktop NotePad

    • Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder Magnet

    • "I'm a Douche" Coffee Mug

    • Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times

    • A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: We visit the photo-shoot site that's become a monument to Elliott Smith

    • A.V. Undercover: ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead covers The Kinks' "Sunny Afternoon"

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved