Let me begin by saying that I'm not one to start trouble or talk bad about someone behind their back. But I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and there's something I just need to get off my chest: That Professor Lasky guy from Saved By The Bell: The College Years was a jerk. There, I said it.

Now, I know some people are going to disagree and say that, deep down, Professor Lasky was a good guy who was just trying to impart real-world advice to his students, but I'm sorry, they couldn't be more wrong. He was clearly just a jerk. I don't know exactly how to describe it. There was just something about him that rubbed me the wrong way. He was smug—too smug—and he acted like he was so much smarter than everyone else. I understand that he was a professor, but let's be realistic, here. The guy was full of himself. Not to mention his annoying nasally voice that made you just want to punch him.

Personally, I didn't like him from the moment I saw him. He just looked like a jerk, with his stupid wavy hair and his glasses and jeans. He was always sipping coffee like a pretentious a-hole and sitting up on his desk like he thought he was the coolest guy. But he was not cool, he was the opposite of cool. He was a bully. On the first day of his class, he posed as a student and sold Zack a fake copy of his midterm for $20. At first, it seemed like maybe that was a good life lesson and a kind of funny prank, but the more I think about it, the more I think only a total dick would do that.

Jeremiah Lasky. "Jeremiah." What kind of name is Jeremiah, anyway? A jerk name. Jeremiah the Jerk, they should have called him. Or Jerk-emiah.

I remember this one time, (just thinking about it makes me angry,) when he told Zack he would excuse him from the course and give him a B if he completed a field study on "What Women Want," and Zack did it successfully, but kept coming to class because he wanted an A. And then Lasky has the nerve to keep riding him all semester? "See me in my office." "See me after class." Who does this guy think he is?

And I know this is a touchy subject because it could get him fired, but someone has got to say it: He flirted with all the girls in his class. I'm sorry, but it's true. He actually told one student his astrological sign (Virgo). What a creep. The worst part is that all the girls loved him, and you could tell that he loved the fact that they loved him. He really got off on that, the smug bastard.

That's not even the worst of it! Even after Lasky specifically said that dating a student is unethical, he turned right around and started making out with Kelly! Can you believe that? What a dick! Besides the fact that it is completely unprofessional and against Cal U. policy, he knew that Zack liked her. That is just not cool.

Then, to top it all off, he goes and breaks Kelly's heart anyway! He dumped her just like that even though she dropped his class so they could keep having make-out sessions—right in front of Zack, no less—without threatening his career. It doesn't take a genius to see all he ever cared about was himself. She needed those cultural anthropology credits, otherwise she was going to end up waitressing at Skeeter's for the rest of her life. Way to go, Professor Lasky. It's no wonder his first wife divorced him, the jerk. I'd divorce him, too.

Now, I'm not going to act like Professor Lasky was 100 percent unjustified in some of his actions, because let's face it, while he did pick on Zack a lot, Zack did sort of bring it upon himself. I'm not blind. I know Zach was not the best student. Far from it! He was always concocting schemes to get out of doing work or to impress girls, and he got away with murder just by flashing his charming smile. That is totally unfair. And maybe this is just me, but sometimes it seemed like he was more interested in getting girls' phone numbers than learning. Now, did Lasky overreact to Zack's antics? Of course he did. Because he's a big jerk who always had to be the center of attention. But I'm big enough to admit that others were in the wrong here, too.

Come to think of it, that Dean McMann could have lightened up a little. She was so strict! What was that all about? And as long as I'm putting it all out on the table, I must say that I found Screech—pardon me for saying so—to be a complete nerd. Don't shoot the messenger; I'm just telling it like it is.

In my eyes, though, Professor Lasky was the biggest jerk on campus. And here's the kicker: He didn't even have the class to show up to Zack and Kelly's wedding in Las Vegas. That sealed the deal for me. Only a jerk does that.