The $252,000,000 Man
Last week, free-agent shortstop Alex Rodriguez signed the richest contract in sports history, a 10-year, $252 million deal with the Texas Rangers. What do you think?
“Boy, when that state isn't busy putting Hispanics to death, it's paying them ridiculous sums to run around a baseball field. Is there no in-between?”
Eleanor Jeffries –
Reference Librarian“It's outrageous that the Rangers signed this guy for $252 million. Only the Yankees should get to do that.”
Brandon Wiley –
Security Guard“As a Texas Rangers front-office official, I'm extremely excited to have Rodriguez on board--in a nauseous, tight-chested kind of way.”
Bruce Dickerson –
Baseball Executive“Sure, a quarter of a billion dollars is a lot of money, but we are talking about a guy with a career .374 on-base percentage here.”
Vanessa Simon –
Teacher“I'm so psyched to see A-Rod play for my beloved Rangers, I've already started saving up for a $135 bleacher seat.”
Dan Agarawal –
Bricklayer“Just think: He makes more than all the other Rodriguezes in Texas combined.”
Randall Keith –
Systems Analyst



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