The Debut Of The UNFL
A New Haven-based investor group recently announced the formation of the United National Football League, saying their 22 professional teams will focus on developing talent when play begins in January 2009. Here are the league's other noteworthy features:
In addition to playing football, UNFL will also be an international peacekeeping force
A pass will be considered complete if a receiver grabs it on the first bounce
Provides a league for those standout high school players too stupid to get into the University of Miami
Trampolines
In the event that a game goes into overtime, the league will automatically go bankrupt
Specially designed protective cup adds hilarious "Boi-yoi-yoinng!" sound to nut-shots
The commissioner's mom just bought this awesome glow-in-the-dark ball, so the league will use that
Can pretty much guarantee Doug Flutie will try out
To increase excitement, scoring, and make games move faster, field will be shortened to 12 yards
Guys will still run around and hit each other, but you will not know their names
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