The Declining Crime Rate
0It was announced last week that the U.S. crime rate is down for the seventh year in a row, falling to its lowest level since 1985. What do you think about this decline in American violence?
“As an upper-middle-class suburbanite, I'll just have to take your word for it.”
Michael Field –
Systems Analyst“I attribute this drop to the nationwide crackdown on casual marijuana users. Thank God those evil fiends are locked up.”
Andre Coleman –
Investment Advisor“Does this have anything to do with the recent reclassification of drive-by shootings as traffic violations?”
Stephanie Wilmot –
Student“You know what else has been declining for seven straight years? The number of women who want to sleep with carpet salesman Larry Brodt, that's fucking what.”
Larry Brodt –
Carpet Salesman“Let's give credit where credit is due. Thank you, Meadowlark Lemon.”
Elaine Holcomb –
Homemaker“Crime is down? Hey, man, don't look at me.”
Arthur Morales –
Cashier
