It was announced last week that the U.S. crime rate is down for the seventh year in a row, falling to its lowest level since 1985. What do you think about this decline in American violence?

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  As an upper-middle-class suburbanite, I'll just have to take your word for it.

  Michael Field
  Systems Analyst

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  I attribute this drop to the nationwide crackdown on casual marijuana users. Thank God those evil fiends are locked up.

  Andre Coleman
  Investment Advisor

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  Does this have anything to do with the recent reclassification of drive-by shootings as traffic violations?

  Stephanie Wilmot
  Student

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  You know what else has been declining for seven straight years? The number of women who want to sleep with carpet salesman Larry Brodt, that's fucking what.

  Larry Brodt
  Carpet Salesman

• 

  Let's give credit where credit is due. Thank you, Meadowlark Lemon.

  Elaine Holcomb
  Homemaker

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  Crime is down? Hey, man, don't look at me.

  Arthur Morales
  Cashier