President Clinton reportedly told Monica Lewinsky during an alleged tryst that oral sex does not count as sexual relations. What do you think about the definition of sex?

• 

  Recently, my wife accused me of cheating on her. But once I explained to her that this woman just sucked me off until I shot my load all over her dress, she was totally relieved.

  Larry Yates
  Systems Analyst

• 

  I think of sex as that horrible and disgusting act I had to go through to produce my precious son Kevin.

  Anne Osrow
  Art Historian

• 

  I don't understand why Clinton is getting so much heat in the press. I mean, people fuck Jews all the time.

  Rick Tonelli
  Photographer

• 

  This definition thing could get way out of hand. For instance, if you're going to count genital-anal contact, that means I have sex with my dog, for chrissakes.

  Patrick Croydon
  Electrician

• 

  Sex is when daddy puts his hot dog in mommy's bun. At least, that's what my husband told me.

  Valerie Joyner
  Student

• 

  For me, sex can be the flutter of a woman's eyelashes. Or the rustling of her skirt. Or leaves moving gently in the breeze. Or a discarded soda cup. Or a bit of string.

  Ben Staunton
  Food Vendor