The Definition Of Sex

American VoicesPolitics ISSUE 34•03 Aug 19, 1998

President Clinton reportedly told Monica Lewinsky during an alleged tryst that oral sex does not count as sexual relations. What do you think about the definition of sex?

  • “Recently, my wife accused me of cheating on her. But once I explained to her that this woman just sucked me off until I shot my load all over her dress, she was totally relieved.”

    Larry Yates –
    Systems Analyst

  • “I think of sex as that horrible and disgusting act I had to go through to produce my precious son Kevin.”

    Anne Osrow –
    Art Historian

  • “I don't understand why Clinton is getting so much heat in the press. I mean, people fuck Jews all the time.”

    Rick Tonelli –
    Photographer

  • “This definition thing could get way out of hand. For instance, if you're going to count genital-anal contact, that means I have sex with my dog, for chrissakes.”

    Patrick Croydon –
    Electrician

  • “Sex is when daddy puts his hot dog in mommy's bun. At least, that's what my husband told me.”

    Valerie Joyner –
    Student

  • “For me, sex can be the flutter of a woman's eyelashes. Or the rustling of her skirt. Or leaves moving gently in the breeze. Or a discarded soda cup. Or a bit of string.”

    Ben Staunton –
    Food Vendor

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