Last week, the federal government released a new food pyramid, but many citizens say the nutrition guidelines are too complicated. What do you think?

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  Apparently there are different food pyramids for meeting different people's needs. I'm gonna guess mine is a mile-high spike of smoked ham, 1,000 feet wide at the base.

  Kent Montoya
  Coach

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  I'm not sure how to use the pyramid guidelines. They measure servings in cups, whereas I measure servings in pitchers. Sometimes in pails, if I have a clean one.

  Tracy Golden
  Systems Analyst

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  Look, governments are supposed to kill people, not encourage them to be healthier.

  Eduardo York
  Broadcast Technician

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  I heard that if you burrow deep inside the pyramid, you'll find a mother lode of discretionary calories.

  Nellie Robles
  Nurse

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  I ask this every year, but where is the 'learning to love yourself the way you already are' pyramid?

  Seth Johnson
  Drummer

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  I've always wanted to be buried for all eternity in a giant food pyramid, with my toaster and chicken rotisserie preserved next to me in ceremonial urns.

  Marianne McDowell
  Stenographer