The Onion's 2008 In Review: Entertainment

American Voices

December 19, 2008 | ISSUE 44•51

This year, tabloid mainstays like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton were largely out of the limelight. What do you think?

That is because the world had bigger things to deal with, like Miley Cyrus, and another Angelina Jolie baby.

Arvid Bell
Insurance Salesman
I'm glad the media finally heeded those poor girls' repeated pleas for privacy.

Gene Edmonds
Unemployed
I was hugely surprised by this, especially because we found out this year that Lindsay is a giant lesbian. Who doesn't like a cover story about a giant lesbian?

Kate Billey
Visiting Nurse

Smoking Speeds Mental Decline

02.08.12 | ISSUE 48•06

A study published in Archives Of General Psychiatry found that middle-aged men who smoked had diminished cognitive skills, the equivalent of having aged an additional 10 years.
Migrating Whooping Cranes Stall In Alabama

02.07.12 | ISSUE 48•06

Nine whooping cranes that had been following an ultralight aircraft as it guided them on their migratory route stopped when they reached Alabama, 500 miles short of the intended destination.
Florida Millionaire Adopts 42-Year-Old Girlfriend

02.06.12 | ISSUE 48•06

A 48-year-old West Palm Beach millionaire and polo club founder has adopted his 42-year-old girlfriend in an apparent bid to avoid paying out a wrongful death lawsuit.
Should Sugar Be Regulated?

02.03.12 | ISSUE 48•05

In a recent editorial in the journal Nature, researchers from the University of California–San Francisco suggested that as a toxic substance, sugar should be taxed and regulated like alcohol or tobacco.
Burmese Pythons Exterminating Everglades Mammals

02.02.12 | ISSUE 48•05

A study in the journal Proceedings Of The National Academy of Sciences links a drastic decline in raccoons and other mammals in the Florida everglades to the introduction of Burmese pythons.