The Onion's 2008 In Review: The Economy

American Voices • Economy • business • ISSUE 44•51 • Dec 16, 2008

The Dow Jones Industrial Average has fallen nearly 6,000 points since reaching its all-time high of more than 14,000 last year. What do you think?

“I'm sure that'd be even more terrifying if I knew what the points represented.”
Curtis Langford –
Systems Analyst
“C'mon, I've seen this happen a thousand times. The stock market crashes, and then twenty years and a world war later, everything's fine.”
Cindy Greenlagh –
Systems Analyst
“This sounds like a perfect time to hatch my poorly conceived, undercapitalized business venture, so that when it fails I can blame the economy.”
Ryan Timms –
Systems Analyst

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