While studies have shown numerous benefits of breastfeeding for both infants and mothers, it can be particularly difficult for working moms to find the time to do so, while other women are unable to breastfeed for a variety of reasons. Here are the pros and cons of breastfeeding your child:

PROS

  • Enhances bond between mother and hungry blob
  • Passes important painkillers on to child
  • Reminds mothers of their purpose as procreative vessels
  • Best way to cram nutrients into child during short period of life when they’re receptive to that
  • Has been shown to prevent ailments such as infections, allergies, asthma, and let’s say diabetes
  • Can net you around 80 bucks on Craigslist if you don’t mind an audience
  • Makes mothers better and more important than women who don’t breastfeed

CONS

  • Mother must sleep in refrigerator to keep milk from spoiling
  • Formula feeding forges intimate bond between you and CVS cashier
  • Tiny, insatiable piglet chomping at your nipple
  • Several more months of only drinking alcohol in moderation
  • Not breastfeeding is easiest, most efficient way of letting everyone know you’re a bad mother who doesn’t care about her children
  • No one really knows how the milk gets from the cow to inside the woman
  • Life starts to feel like it revolves around baby