Many parents are choosing to homeschool their children due to religious beliefs or dissatisfaction with their district, while opponents argue that attending school is essential to a child’s education and development. Here are some pros and cons of educating your child at home:

PROS:

  • Better prepares children for modern world in which they never have to talk to people with different opinions
  • Guest lecturer Uncle Ken
  • Parental brainwashing much more efficient than government brainwashing
  • Sex education can be taught using family-approved euphemisms
  • No embarrassment when child accidentally calls teacher Mom
  • Primes child to eventually work from home, live at home, die at home
  • Despite its demanding workload, Dad’s History of Billy Joel class is pretty interesting

CONS:

  • Have to spend time with child
  • High cost of adding cafeteria, auditorium, gym to house
  • Teacher unable to reuse joke material
  • Onus of bullying falls on parents
  • Higher rate of STDs in students who’ve never watched an educational improv troupe act out the dangers of unprotected sex
  • Slightly more difficult to get rid of underperforming teachers
  • Almost impossible to punish a child who is already being subjected to homeschooling