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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • ISSUE 47•32 • Aug 9, 2011
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    • Area Dog’s Rock Bottom Same As His Peak

      1 of 10
    • Soccer Player In Blue Shirt Happy

      SOUTH AMERICA?—Following what must have been a successful on-field achievement Sunday, a professional, semi-professional, or possibly amateur male soccer player wearing a sky-blue shirt appeared happy, sources confirmed.
      2 of 10
    • Democrats, Republicans Celebrate Pitiful Excuse For Common Ground

      WASHINGTON—Following Sunday’s pathetic excuse for an agreement on raising the government’s borrowing limit, Democrats and Republicans took time to celebrate the meager, ineffective deal, calling it “a testament to the not-so-great ...
      3 of 10
    • X Games Perused To See If That Kid With The Skateboard From High School Is In It

      TUALATIN, OR—Twenty-seven-year-old local resident Tom Portwood reportedly watched the X Games for nearly a half-hour Saturday, curious to see if that kid who skateboarded in high school was now participating in any of the events.
      4 of 10
    • Congress Passes First Law In U.S. History That Doesn't Somehow Kill Tens Of Thousands Of Ducks

      WASHINGTON—The United States Congress passed a law late Wednesday that for the first time in its 222-year history did not result in the sudden and unexpected deaths of thousands of ducks. The law, designed to track suspicious interstate financial tr...
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    • Botanist Holding Up Entire Salad Bar

      6 of 10
    • Racehorse Unaware It Just Cost Some Kid New Braces

      7 of 10
    • Obama: Debt Ceiling Deal Required Tough Concessions By Both Democrats And Democrats Alike

      WASHINGTON—A day after signing legislation that raised the government debt ceiling and authorized steep budget cuts, President Obama thanked Democrats as well as Democrats for their willingness to make tough, but necessary, concessions during negoti...
      8 of 10
    • Obama Begs U.S. Not To Embarrass Him In Front Of French (Season 1: Ep 8 on IFC) 

      In the Daily Briefing, Obama asks the nation to "be cool" while his friends Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni are in town.
      9 of 10
    • Drunken Ben Bernanke Tells Everyone At Neighborhood Bar How Screwed U.S. Economy Really Is

      SEWARD, NE—Claiming he wasn't afraid to let everyone in attendance know about "the real mess we're in," Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke reportedly got drunk Tuesday and told everyone at Elwood's Corner Tavern about how absolutely fuc...
      10 of 10
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