Icy winds ruining hair, freezing it that way
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • ISSUE 47•42 • Oct 24, 2011
    • Facebook275
    • Twitter77
    • Google Plus6
    • Leaf-Hunting Season Begins

      PENACOOK, NH—Sportsmen throughout the region donned camouflage and readied their rifles and bows Monday, heralding the official opening of New Hampshire's 2011 leaf-hunting season.
      1 of 10
    • Federal Government To Reduce Madoff's Sentence If He Can Infiltrate U.S. Economy In 48 Hours And Turn It Around

      NEW YORK—According to high-ranking federal officials, the U.S. government has struck an unusual bargain with convicted criminal Bernard Madoff, giving the former financier 48 hours to infiltrate the nation's crumbling economy and fix it in exchange ...
      2 of 10
    • New Decoy Website Launched To Lure Away All Moronic Internet Commenters

      SAN JOSE, CA—With funding from dozens of news outlets and media companies, the groundbreaking Outkube.com launched this week, providing an online destination where pandering and incendiary content is used to lure moronic Internet commenters away fro...
      3 of 10
    • Former 'Munsters' Star Butch Patrick To Write Autobiography On Word Processor Bought At Yard Sale

      PHILADELPHIA—Butch Patrick, 58, a former child actor who appeared on television's The Munsters, has announced plans to write an autobiography on the word processor he just purchased for $11, yard sale sources confirmed Saturday.
Patrick, who ...
      4 of 10
    • Republican Coma Candidate Dominates GOP Debate

      HANOVER, NH—Analysts are hailing the performance of candidate John Clarkson in last Tuesday's Republican presidential debate as a clear victory for the former Colorado representative, who slipped into a coma following a car crash eight years ago.
      5 of 10
    • Report: 40,000 People Died On Ferris Wheels This Summer

      NEW YORK— In its annual report of carnival and amusement park fatalities released Thursday, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration found that 40,000 riders lost their lives in Ferris wheel accidents during the summer of 2011.
      6 of 10
    • Mother's Little Angel Just Made Fun Of Classmate's Weight For 30 Straight Minutes

      SMYRNA, GA—Eleven-year-old Dan Weisz, reportedly his mother's precious sweetheart, viciously ridiculed an overweight classmate for 30 minutes straight this morning on the Middlebury Elementary School playground.
      7 of 10
    • Nation Gathers Around Radio Set To Listen To Big Ball Game

      WASHINGTON—After the little ones had finished up the last of their supper, moms had dashed out to get the last of the wash off the line before the sun set, and dads had quietly finished smoking their pipes behind the evening newspaper, eager citizen...
      8 of 10
    • GOP Race Heats Up As Candidate In Coma More Appealing Than Rest of Field

      Voters seem to be responding to former congressman, John Clarkson's record of avoiding Washington infighting, political scandal, and embarrassing gaffes by being in a coma for the last eight years.
      9 of 10
    • Something Sliding Around In Coffin

      The government reduces Bernie Madoff's sentence in exchange for infiltrating and fixing the economy, leaf hunting season begins, and something is sliding around in this coffin. It's the week of October 17th, 2011.
      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Week In Pictures

      • Ten Years Later: A Look Back On The World Since 9/11

      • Vacations

      • This Week In Pictures

      • Road Trips

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

    Recent News

    BREAKING: Lovers Lost In FogReport: 79% Of Sincere Thoughts Played Off As JokesKids Tired Of Hearing Boring Stories About How Father A Skilled, Generous LoverApparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office16-Year-Old Excited To Have Whole Summer To Plan Shooting For Next School YearFossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam EarthAmerican Dental Association Recommends Making Your Gums Hurt Really Bad Once A Day

    Recent Videos

    Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought

    Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts'New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

    • Film: Great Job, Internet!: Gob Bluth fits perfectly into Now You See Me

    • Books: Newswire: Many of Marvel's top comic-book creators are launching new series over at Image

    • Music: Newswire: People Still Buy Music: Lack of anticipation kills Kanye's second-week sales numbers

    • Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody

    • WTF Stamp

    • Cheat To Win Bracelet

    • Health Questions, Answers and Free Chicken Wings - Dr. Good - Ep. 9

    • A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: The golf club that hosted Caddyshack's raucous production

    • Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved