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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • ISSUE 47•44 • Nov 3, 2011
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    • Man's Utter Failure In Life A Bit Of A Sore Spot

      MADISONVILLE, TN—Sources close to local man Mike Ferguson confirmed Saturday that over time they have learned not to bring up their friend's utter failure to achieve anything whatsoever in life, a sensitive topic they said has always been a bit of a...
      1 of 10
    • Popular New DirecTV Package Offers Zero NHL Games

      EL SEGUNDO, CA—Satellite broadcast provider DirecTV has been inundated with new subscribers following Monday's introduction of NHL ShutOut, a special new sports entertainment package that allows customers to miss 100 percent of National Hockey Leagu...
      2 of 10
    • Tim Tebow Becomes First Bad Quarterback To Lead 4th Quarter Comeback

      It's a spooky GOOMF and everything is backwards: Doc is Kenny, Kenny is Belichick, Tim Tebow is winning games and Blake Griffin is dunking everything in sight.
      3 of 10
    • Nation Finally Breaks Down And Begs Its Smart People To Just Fix Everything

      WASHINGTON—Overwhelmed by the frustration of being utterly unable to solve any of the numerous difficult problems it faces, a worn-out nation finally broke down Thursday morning and begged its smart people to please just fix everything now. Admittin...
      4 of 10
    • Hackers Shut Down January Jones

      January Jones begins to malfunction on set after highly skilled hackers broke into and dismantled the robotic starlet's operating system.
      5 of 10
    • FDA Approves Putting Picture Of Trish On Cigarette Packs

      WASHINGTON—In an effort to accurately portray the risks of smoking tobacco, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved rules Wednesday that will require all cigarette packaging to bear a large warning label featuring a graphic image of Trish. FD...
      6 of 10
    • Something Sliding Around In Coffin

      7 of 10
    • Sun Dreading Rising Today

      8 of 10
    • Rick Perry Speech Electrifies 1,200 Scared, Miserable Racists

      9 of 10
    • Mitt Romney's Goal To Connect With One Voter By The Time This Is All Over

      BELMONT, MA—While he is widely favored to win the Republican nomination for president next year, Mitt Romney told reporters Monday that deep down, what he truly wants is to actually establish a real, authentic connection with at least one voter befo...
      10 of 10
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