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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • ISSUE 47•46 • Nov 21, 2011
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    • Twitter11
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    • Man To Sail Around World To Decrease Awareness Of Important Issues

      ENCINITAS, CA—In a completely inconsequential event that has already captured the imaginations of thousands, amateur sailor Michael Gilmer, 29, announced Monday he would be embarking on a sea journey around the world to actively decrease awareness o...
      1 of 11
    • Nation To Bring In Revenue By Offering Official United States Of America Franchise Opportunities

      WASHINGTON—Amidst continued deadlock over how to rein in the federal deficit, government officials announced plans Tuesday to increase revenue by offering franchise opportunities to entrepreneurs who wish to start their own United States of America....
      2 of 11
    • Breaking: Jessica Milly To Start Putting Out

      DEARBORN, MI—In a shocking revelation that has rocked Thomas E. Dewey High School, sources in Mrs. Trimble’s third-period English class are now confirming that 17-year-old Jessica Milly will soon begin putting out.
      3 of 11
    • Classmates Respond To Jessica Milly’s Decision To Put Out

      Wednesday morning at Thomas E. Dewey High School news broke that 17-year-old junior Jessica Milly will begin putting out.
      4 of 11
    • Brooke Alvarez Teaches Us How To Deal With Uninformed People

      According to Brooke Alvarez, the best way to deal with an uninformed person is to shame them and devastate their self-esteem.
      5 of 11
    • Rick Santorum Asks U.S. Populace If He's Still Running For President

      DES MOINES, IA—At a campaign stop Monday, former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum asked a crowd assembled in the parking lot of a Hy-Vee supermarket if he was still running for president.
      6 of 11
    • NFL Searching For Any Unused Harbaughs

      NEW YORK—After noting the respectable performance of Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh and the excellent record of San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh, the National Football League announced Tuesday it is actively seeking any and all...
      7 of 11
    • NHL's Critics Find No Evidence That Penalty Box Reforms Players

      TORONTO—After performing an in-depth 15-year study of professional hockey penalties, penalization practices, and the behavior of penalized players, independent hockey-law reform group JustIce concluded this week that the NHL's use of the penalty box...
      8 of 11
    • New Robot Warns When Someone's About To Walk In On You Masturbating

      The remarkable, cutting edge TYSO robot uses radio wave technology to notify the user that someone's about to bust in on him while he's jacking it.  
      9 of 11
    • Neighbor's House Fire Kind Of Beautiful, Actually

      10 of 11
    • Eagles Having Postmodernist Short-Storybook Season

      PHILADELPHIA—With a complete lack of ordered structure, a highly compromised cast of characters lacking a true protagonist, and no coherent resolution in sight, the Eagles—who began the season widely heralded as the best team in football...
      11 of 11
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