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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • ISSUE 47•48 • Dec 5, 2011
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    • Nation's 10-Year-Old Boys: 'If You See Someone Raping Us, Please Call The Police'

      'Doesn't Matter Who, Doesn't Matter Where,' Children Say

      UNIVERSITY PARK, PA—In the wake of the sex abuse scandal that rocked Penn State earlier this month, a coalition of 10-year-old boys from across the nation held a press conference Saturday outside Beaver Stad-ium, home of college football's Nittany L...
      1 of 11
    • High Unemployment Linked To Increasing Number Of Face Tattoos

      A new jobs report from the Department of Labor shows that Americans are out of work because 35% of them now have face tattoos and employers are reluctant to hire anyone who would willingly mar their face with tiger stripes.
      2 of 11
    • U.S. Adds 4 Million Jobs But In St. Louis

      WASHINGTON—The Labor Department reported Monday that the U.S. economy created a staggering 4 million jobs in October, though government officials hastened to add that the new positions are all located in the St.
      3 of 11
    • 'Please Stop Calling Me Big Baby,' Says Glen 'Pencil Dick' Davis

      BOSTON—Irked that a reporter had once again referred to him as "Big Baby" while asking him a question about the NBA lockout, Boston Celtics center Glen "Pencil Dick" Davis lashed out at fans and the media Monday for continuing to...
      4 of 11
    • Brooke Alvarez Explains Why There Are So Many People In Prison

      The U.S. puts more people into prison than any other country and Brooke Alvarez gives us two possible explanations for why this is the case.
      5 of 11
    • Osprey Devours Lion In Massive Food-Chain Shake-Up

      DAR ES SALAAM—With its dramatic depiction of an osprey stalking, killing, and eating a lion, a video released Tuesday reveals what alarmed scientists have described as a massive and shocking disruption of the global food chain. The graphic footage, ...
      6 of 11
    • Parents Honor Dead Son's Memory By Keeping Up His Awful Blog

      When their son, Geoff, passed away, Mary and Steve Patterson decided to honor his memory by keeping up Geoff's Tumblr where he made fun of shitbirds, fatties, and asswipes.
      7 of 11
    • Hedo Turkoglu Somehow Comes Out Of Lockout $50 Million Richer

      8 of 11
    • Nation's Undiscovered Pedophile Coaches Getting Extremely Nervous

      SYRACUSE, NY—After the dismissal of Syracuse assistant basketball coach Bernie Fine and the arrest of former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky, the nation's yet-to-be-caught pedophile coaches expressed nervousness Friday that any on...
      9 of 11
    • Ford Looks Down On Website That Would Let Itself Be Plastered In Ford's Ads

      DEARBORN, MI—Ford Motor Company officials chastised news and commentary website Masthead.com Friday, conceding they were embarrassed to be associated with a publication that would allow the entirety of its award-winning content to be hidden behind s...
      10 of 11
    • Court Rules Meryl Streep Unable To Be Tried By Jury As She Has No Peers

      11 of 11
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