Torrential drizzle
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 47•49 • Dec 12, 2011
    • Facebook15
    • Twitter59
    • Google Plus8
    • Report: Global Warming May Be Irreversible By 2006

      GENEVA—A new report from the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned Monday that global warming is likely to become completely irreversible if no successful effort is made to slow down the trend before 2006. Unless greenhouse-gas emiss...
      1 of 11
    • Chinese Paint Tops List Of This Year's Must-Have Holiday Gifts

      Parents are lining up at disreputable hardware stores across the nation to get their hands on this holiday season's most sought-after item: a bucket of vivid, low-odor chinese paint.
      2 of 11
    • Excited Mike Krzyzewski: Duke Squad Hasn't Been This Unlikable In Years

      DURHAM, NC—Though cautioning that it is still early in the season, a beaming Mike Krzyzewski told reporters Monday he has not seen a Duke team this unlikable in many years, and is optimistic about the Blue Devils' chances to grow even more repulsive...
      3 of 11
    • Year In Review: Renewable Energy Source Encoded In Charlie Sheen's Rants

      Earlier this year, scientists found that Charlie Sheen's incomprehensible rants were actually a secret code for a formula to produce renewable energy.
      4 of 11
    • Secretary Of Agriculture Attends Diplomatic Meeting With Foreign Cabbage

      LJUBLJANA, SLOVENIA—In the latest stop on his goodwill tour to improve U.S. relations with foreign produce, Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack attended a meeting Thursday with a fresh head of Slovenian cabbage.
The high-level meeting, which included ...
      5 of 11
    • Least Corrupt Politician In Illinois History Sentenced To 14 Years In Prison

      6 of 11
    • Study Finds Getting Smacked Right In The Mouth With A Goddamn Tree Branch Really Sucks

      'But After A Minute, You're Basically Fine,' Researchers Say

      BOSTON—According to a study published Monday in The New England Journal Of Medicine, getting smacked right across the mouth with a goddamn tree branch really fucking sucks, but after a minute or so, you're pretty much fine. The study, in which resea...
      7 of 11
    • Tom Brady Autobiography Highlights The Highs And Highs Of Being Tom Brady

      FOXBOROUGH, MA—A new autobiography by New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady gives readers a behind-the-scenes look at the ups and even greater ups of being the three-time Super Bowl champion, sources confirmed Friday.
      8 of 11
    • Shitty Graffiti Artist Captures 19-Year-Old Girl's Heart

      'He's Also A Terrible DJ!' Teen Squeals

      CLAREMONT, CA—From the moment she first laid eyes on his clumsy, haphazardly sprayed graffiti tag, Pomona College sophomore Jessica Tisselo has been completely enamored with 24-year-old shitty street artist Adam Zane, the love-struck Tisselo told re...
      9 of 11
    • Burglar Makes Sure To Crack Glass On Family Portrait

      10 of 11
    • Equestrian Instinctively Feels Deep, Meaningless Connection With Horse

      11 of 11
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • 2011's Most Influential People In Economic News

      • The Week In Pictures

      • Pop Culture

      • The Week In Pictures: Family Edition

      • The Week In Pictures

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    NEWS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    ENTERTAINMENT

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    LIFESTYLE

    Recent News

    New Obesity Drug DeliciousFamily Concerned After John McCain Wanders Into SyriaNation Excited To See Whatever Bile The Internet Spews Up TodayU.S. Disc Jockey General Urges Americans To Get The Led OutScientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of TwinklesLast 12 Years A Real Wake-Up Call For Area ManArea Man Beginning To Think He Has Memorial Day Off

    Recent Videos

    Desperate Earth Begins Accelerating Rotation In Effort To Hurl Humankind Off Surface

    Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice CommandsObama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

    • Film: Great Job, Internet!: Someone made a homemade lightsaber that's hot enough to burn stuff

    • Film: Great Job, Internet!: A Few Good Men video mashup literally turns heads by switching Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise's mouths

    • Music: Great Job, Internet!: An animated James Brown interview from 1984 covers Reagan, changing musical tastes

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

    • Best of Onion Sports: OSN Tackles Underreported Sports

    • Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved