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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•07 • Feb 20, 2012
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    • New Breeding Program Aimed At Keeping Moderate Republicans From Going Extinct

      WASHINGTON—Saying the now critically endangered species of politician is at high risk for complete extinction within the next 10 years, Beltway-area conservationists announced plans Monday for a new captive breeding program designed to save moderate...
      1 of 10
    • Joad Cressbeckler: Immigrants Who Survive Arizona Desert Deserve Citizenship

      On The Cressbeckler Stance, Joad says any Mexican who crosses the scorching-hot desert on foot has proved himself worthy of U.S.
      2 of 10
    • Roger Goodell Backs Off Expansion Talk After Being Reminded Of Jacksonville Jaguars

      NEW YORK—Amid talks of "possibly adding a 32nd team" to the National Football League, Commissioner Roger Goodell was reminded by aides Tuesday that the Jaguars have been playing in the AFC South for more than a decade.
      3 of 10
    • Charlize Theron Hired To Ride Struggling Cleveland Light Rail System Monday Through Friday

      CLEVELAND—As part of an ongoing effort to rejuvenate its public transportation system, the Greater Cleveland Regional Transit Authority announced Wednesday that it had signed a three-year, $32 million deal hiring Academy Award–winning actress ...
      4 of 10
    • Moviegoers Not Interested In Hearing What Is, Isn't Possible, Demand Heath Ledger 'Dark Knight Rises' Appearance

      LOS ANGELES—Saying they don't want to hear anything at all about what film producers can or can't do, moviegoers across the country warned Thursday that the latest Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises, had better include an appearance by the l...
      5 of 10
    • Knicks Trade Jeremy Lin For Selfish Asshole Who Plays Knicks-Style Basketball

      After another bite of sour fish, Doc struggles to hold down the Jeremy Lin trade, Derrick Rose in a gurney, and the wusses on the Mariners.
      6 of 10
    • Knicks Doctors Continue Carefully Reinjuring Carmelo Anthony's Groin

      NEW YORK—As the Jeremy Lin phenomenon continues to lift hopes and spirits among the Knicks faithful and basketball fans nationwide, team doctors are doing everything they can to maintain the unusually high level of morale by painstakingly and method...
      7 of 10
    • New Sitcom To Feature Blocking Tight End Living With Pass-Catching Tight End

      LOS ANGELES—CBS executives announced Friday they have ordered a full season of a new show called Loose Ends, a situation comedy about a buttoned-down NFL tight end known for his blocking ability who lives in a condo with his brash young teamm...
      8 of 10
    • Person Who Will One Day Become Warlord-Ruler Of What Was Once Nebraska Born In Omaha Hospital

      BELLEVUE, NE—Shortly after 8 a.m. Tuesday, Landon Matthew Crowley, a 7-pound, 14-ounce baby boy and the future warlord who will rule over the charred remnants of what was once the state of Nebraska, was welcomed into the world at Omaha's Methodist H...
      9 of 10
    • Tom Brady Cruelly Consolidates Power By Marrying Sister Off To Twisted But Influential Kevin Youkilis

      BOSTON—While acknowledging Tom Brady’s decision to betroth his sister Julie to savage, lecherous Kevin Youkilis may be morally repugnant on a personal level, Boston sports analysts said Thursday the move should consolidate the superstar’...
      10 of 10
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