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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•08 • Feb 27, 2012
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    • Female Friends Spend Raucous Night Validating The Living Shit Out Of Each Other

      AKRON, OH—According to witnesses, a tight-knit group of five female friends spent a wild night on the town Saturday, overindulging in emotionally supportive behavior and generally validating the living shit out of each other. Confirming the women ge...
      1 of 11
    • Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack

      On Today Now!, Jim and Tracy talk to an 11-year-old who had his leg gnawed off by a cool-as-hell shark.
      2 of 11
    • NewsBlitz: Senate Session Interrupted By Wailing Of Ted Kennedy's Ghost

      Ted Kennedy's crying ghost disrupts Congress and a pilot crashes in the Kardashian wilderness, in today's NewsBlitz.
      3 of 11
    • Disturbed Beltway Sources Report Congress Eerily Cooperative Today

      WASHINGTON—According to reports from distressed Capitol Hill sources, members of both houses of Congress were eerily cooperative and agreeable throughout today's legislative session, prompting widespread confusion, fear, and suspicion among politica...
      4 of 11
    • MMA Fighter Unfortunately Discovers True Love For First Time On Morning Of Big Fight

      TERRE HAUTE, IN—In an unfortunate instance of ill-timing, mixed martial artist Pat Schrode finally discovered the feeling of true, unrequited love Saturday morning just hours before his fight with Kyle Hendrix.
      5 of 11
    • Leaf From "Tree Of Life" Frontrunner For Best Actor Oscar

      On Star Fix, entertainment insiders say this might be the year Hollywood's favorite leaf, which has appeared in more than 60 films, finally takes home the Academy Award.
      6 of 11
    • Obama: No Option Off The Table Except Snatching Iran's Leaders With Hook Lowered From Plane And Flying Them To Washington

      WASHINGTON—A resolute President Obama warned Tuesday that if Iran remained unwilling to halt its nuclear program, the United States would consider any and all options at its disposal short of whisking away the Islamic republic's leaders using a hook...
      7 of 11
    • Great Team Chemistry No Match For Great Team Biology

      COLLEGE STATION, TX—Despite college basketball analysts' frequent remarks that the team exhibits "great chemistry," the Texas A&M Aggies were edged out Wednesday night 66-58 by the No.
      8 of 11
    • Exhausted Sweatshop Worker Just Has To Laugh After Sewing Fingers Together

      PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA—After working her third straight 17-hour shift, garment worker Nghiem Phuong said Monday she "couldn't help but laugh" after sewing her index and ring fingers together. "Well, I guess it's just one of th...
      9 of 11
    • Nation Trying, Okay?

      Jesus

      NEW YORK—Pushed to the breaking point after constantly being taken to task for its shortcomings without ever hearing so much as a word of thanks for everything it does around here, an overwhelmed and infuriated nation announced Wednesday that it was...
      10 of 11
    • Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie Arrive On Oscar Red Carpet 12 Hours Early

      'We're Just So Happy To Be Here,' Joyful Couple Announces

      LOS ANGELES—Stepping out of a chauffeured limousine just as dawn broke above Hollywood's Kodak Theatre Sunday morning, Brad Pitt and longtime partner Angelina Jolie arrived at the 84th Annual Academy Awards, taking their place on the red carpet a fu...
      11 of 11
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