Continual deciduous nudity
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•12 • Mar 26, 2012
    • Facebook18
    • Twitter21
    • Google Plus0
    • Residents Of Indiana Join Together To Form Collective Consciousness

      'We Are Indiana,' New Hive Mind Announces

      INDIANAPOLIS—Sources have confirmed that at approximately 10:30 a.m. today all 6.5 million residents of Indiana spontaneously exited their homes and places of business, formed thousands of perfectly uniform rows, and appeared to join together in a c...
      1 of 12
    • Broncos Calling Teams To See If They Need Anyone Who Can't Play Quarterback

      2 of 12
    • NHL Reluctantly Signs Deal With Hockey To Continue As Their Sport Through 2016

      NEW YORK—Despite revenue, attendance figures, and viewing statistics showing it continues to lag behind as the least popular major sports league in the country, the NHL reluctantly completed a four-year, $20 million deal with hockey Tuesday to conti...
      3 of 12
    • Joad Cressbeckler Denies He Incited Mob To Drag Congressman Through Briar Patch

      Joad says he can't be blamed for Rep. Cummings being dragged through a briar patch just because he called for the congressman to be dragged through a briar patch.
      4 of 12
    • Panicked Redskins Send Another Couple First-Round Picks To St. Louis Just To Make Sure

      WASHINGTON—Mere days after sending the St. Louis Rams three first-round picks and a second-round selection in exchange for the second pick of the 2012 NFL Draft, the Washington Redskins took steps to ensure they would be able to sign Heisman Trophy...
      5 of 12
    • U.S. Citizen Resigns After Making Controversial Remark About Country

      MATTOON, IL—Ending the firestorm of controversy that erupted after he made a highly critical comment about the United States, 43-year-old hardware store employee Keith Nellson bowed to public pressure Wednesday and announced he would be stepping dow...
      6 of 12
    • Military Now Considering Limiting Soldiers With Severe PTSD To 3 Combat Tours

      WASHINGTON—Following the alleged murder of 16 Afghan civilians by Army Staff Sgt. Robert Bales, the U.S.
      7 of 12
    • Study Finds Newborn Infants Can Tell If Parents Are Losers

      CHICAGO—A study published this week in the journal Pediatrics found that, within seconds of their birth, babies have the ability to sense whether their parents are losers.
      8 of 12
    • Tebow, Sanchez Vow To Work Together To Throw Football

      9 of 12
    • Poll Shows Best Part Of Primary Season Has Been Really Getting To Know, Spend Time With 4 Great Guys

      WASHINGTON—According to a Gallup poll released Thursday, a majority of Americans believe the best and most satisfying aspect of the entire 2012 presidential primary experience has been the opportunity to spend extended time in the company of four ju...
      10 of 12
    • Broncos Receivers Worried Peyton Manning Going To Expose How Bad They Are

      Doc and Kenny answer "fan mail" about terrible receivers in Denver, confusing NCAA-upset sex, and Bryce Harper's dickishness.
      11 of 12
    • Area Man Gets Terrible Creative Juices Flowing

      SLIDELL, LA—Local man Timothy Nolan announced Friday that after initially struggling to get into the right frame of mind for a new project, he had finally gotten his horrible creative juices flowing.
      12 of 12
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Week In Pictures

      • The Week In Pictures

      • The Week In Pictures

      • The Week In Pictures

      • The Week In Pictures

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    News

    Lifestyle

    Lifestyle

    News

    Travel

    News

    Recent News

    ‘Our Thoughts Go Out To Oklahoma,’ Says Congressman Mentally Calculating When He Can Bring Up Benghazi Again24-Year-Old Receives Sage Counsel From Venerable 27-Year-Old2013 Year In Review Photo Essay Shaping Up To Be Quite HorrificAmericans Dredge Up Last Remaining Reserves Of GriefMan Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Missions To Focus Largely On Tutoring, Community OutreachJustin Bieber Recovering In Intensive Care Unit After Being Badly Booed

    Recent Videos

    Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Starbucks Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

    David Fincher To Helm YouTube’s First Hour-Long Drama Series 'Turtle Has Sex With Shoes'Every Glass In Grandmother’s Cupboard Visibly Filthy

    • TV: Newswire: Ricky Gervais' Derek, the show about the mentally challenged man, sets Netflix debut date

    • Music: Great Job, Internet!: Listen to a bunch of rappers reference former NBA center Alonzo Mourning

    • Music: Newswire: Queen guitarist Brian May says he hates The Voice, surprises no one

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

    • Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Cafe Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?

    • Your Insides Look Like Smashed Tomatoes - Dr. Good - Ep. 1

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved