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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•16 • Apr 23, 2012
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    • Trusted Sistine Chapel Janitor Convicted Of Sexually Abusing Last 4 Popes

      VATICAN CITY—Bringing to a close a scandal that has rocked the Roman Catholic Church and upset millions of its followers, trusted Sistine Chapel janitor Giuseppe Falduto, 78, was convicted Thursday of sexually abusing four popes between 1965 and 201...
      1 of 11
    • Dwight Howard Tells Reporters He's Very Unhappy In Milky Way Galaxy

      ORLANDO, FL—Following another tough loss for the Magic Tuesday, Dwight Howard informed reporters he is very unhappy playing in the Milky Way, the galaxy where he has spent his entire life and career, and is looking to be moved as soon as possible.
      2 of 11
    • Human Civilization Brings Out Worst In Area Man

      COLUMBUS, OH—Sources close to local resident Justin Krypel admitted to reporters this week that while the 34-year-old account executive was "basically a good guy at heart," human civilization has a tendency to bring out the worst in him....
      3 of 11
    • Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook

      A troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political office due to their embarrassing Facebook posts.
      4 of 11
    • Joe Maddon Working On Creating Cool New Infield Position

      ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Saying he finds the defensive positioning that has been standard in baseball for well over 100 years "staid" and "primitive," Rays manager Joe Maddon revealed Monday he is deep in the process of ...
      5 of 11
    • Obama Launches More Realistic 'I Have Big Ideas But We'll See How It Goes' Campaign Slogan

      CHICAGO—After coming to terms with the limited scope of what he can realistically expect to accomplish as president, Barack Obama announced Wednesday a new, more practical campaign slogan that will serve as the cornerstone for his 2012 reelection bi...
      6 of 11
    • Four American Troops Tragically Killed Along With 23 Afghanis

      Autistic reporter Michael Falk reports it is bad that four U.S. soldiers died but it is good that nearly two dozen Taliban soldiers died.
      7 of 11
    • Depressed Ralph Lauren Releases New Wrinkled Dress Shirt With Marinara Stain On It

      NEW YORK—In a bold move that has become the talk of the fashion world, morbidly depressed designer Ralph Lauren has unveiled a wrinkled dress shirt stained with marinara sauce, part of a new ready-to-wear fall line reflecting the clothing legend...
      8 of 11
    • Area Man Proud He Can Still Fit Into Car From High School

      NAPA, CA—Wiggling from side to side as he forcibly wedged his torso into the driver's seat of a 1992 Ford Festiva, local man Michael Kerson told reporters Friday he couldn't help but take a little pride in the fact that he could still fit into his c...
      9 of 11
    • Charlotte Bobcats Still Practicing For Some Reason

      CHARLOTTE, NC—Despite being only a week away from the end of a season in which they have lost more than 50 games, the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats are, for reasons unknown at this time, still meeting regularly to practice.
      10 of 11
    • George H.W. Bush Hasn't Seen Anyone From His Secret Service Detail In Years

      HOUSTON—President George H.W. Bush realized Tuesday it had been several years since he had seen any members of the Secret Service detail that was assigned to protect him for the rest of his life.
      11 of 11
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