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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•21 • May 25, 2012
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    • Wrigley Field Supporters Propose Tearing Down Rest Of Chicago

      CHICAGO—A coalition of die-hard Cubs fans and Wrigley Field supporters introduced a drastic proposal at a Chicago city council meeting Tuesday, angrily calling for the demolition of the expensive, obsolete, 175-year-old city surrounding the beloved ...
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    • First McDonald's Opens With A Young Grimace Just Starting Out As A Cashier

      The Onion reflects on Bette Davis’s film debut as a piece of chocolate cake, Lindbergh’s historic flight across the Atlantic Ocean after decades of disastrous test runs with dog pilots, and the opening of the first McDonald’s with a young Grimace just starting out as a cashier.
      2 of 8
    • David Ortiz Claims He Just Saw Submarine In Kansas City Royals Fountain

      KANSAS CITY, MO—Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz excitedly informed everyone in his team's dugout that he had just spotted a submarine splashing around in the Kauffman Stadium fountain behind the outfield fence in Kansas City, sources confirmed...
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    • Scientists Find Thousands Of Previously Undiscovered Species Cowering In Amazon Rainforest

      MANAUS, BRAZIL—A team of scientists studying the Amazon Rainforest announced the remarkable discovery this week of thousands of previously undiscovered mammals, reptiles, birds and other species desperately cowering for dear life under rocks ...
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    • Kennedy Family Releases List Of Tragic Ways Remaining Members Could Die

      HYANNIS PORT, MA—Following last week's tragic loss of yet another family member, the grieving Kennedys released a list of numerous heartbreaking ways the dynasty's remaining living relatives could die, sources confirmed Tuesday. This list, which is ...
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    • Quiet Temp Actually Very Untalented Singer-Songwriter

      PITTSBURGH—Having established a reputation among the Flagstone Marketing staff as a quiet and reserved temporary worker, Kevin Bright completely shocked his coworkers this week when it was discovered that, outside the office, the mild-mannered...
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    • Biden To Honor Fallen Soldiers By Jumping Motorcycle Over Vietnam Memorial

      WASHINGTON—In an effort to honor fallen American soldiers this Memorial Day with a fittingly "badass" tribute, Vice President Joe Biden has announced plans to jump a motorcycle over the entire length of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. Biden...
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    • Alabama School System's Lone Textbook Falling Apart

      MONTGOMERY, AL—The Alabama Department of Education reported Wednesday that its sole textbook has begun to seriously show its age after more than a decade of heavy daily use at the state’s 1,500 public schools. Officials said the decrepit tome,...
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