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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•22 • Jun 4, 2012
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    • NRA Sets 1,000 Killed In School Shooting As Amount It Would Take For Them To Reconsider Much Of Anything

      'Yeah, Something Like 1,000 Dead Kids,' Reports Spokesperson

      FAIRFAX, VA—National Rifle Association Executive Vice President and CEO Wayne LaPierre said Monday that somewhere around 1,000 kids would have to die in a school shooting in order for the organization to reconsider their longstanding opposition to g...
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    • Area Man Winded After Particularly Lengthy Wendy's Order

      GLEN ALLEN, VA—Local man Brett Lussier, 43, was left fatigued and out of breath Thursday after placing a particularly long lunch order at the Wendy's franchise location on Brook Road, sources reported.
      2 of 9
    • Big 12 Agrees To Annual Bowl Loss Against SEC

      IRVING, TX—Keeping with years of tradition of getting blown out in demoralizing defeats to its dominating competitor, the Big 12 Conference confirmed Monday it has agreed to a yearly bowl loss to the Southeastern Conference.
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    • Bed Bug Feels Bad For Area Man, But A Bug's Got To Eat

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    • Shrieking Vilsack Wakes From Nightmare About Being Buried Alive By Giant Ear Of Corn

      WASHINGTON—A shrieking, sweat-soaked Tom Vilsack reportedly woke in a panic Tuesday night after the U.S.
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    • Money Man Pulls Even With Black Guy In Latest Poll

      WASHINGTON—With the election less than six months away, a nationwide Gallup poll released Wednesday found that Money Man has now pulled even with Black Guy in the 2012 presidential race.
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    • Shadows Meet The Clouds, Gray On Gray, Like Dusty Charcoal On An Ashen Brow, Nation's Poets Report

      NEW YORK—According to a growing consensus of U.S. poets, shadows—inky sharp as a raven's beak—meet the sullen bloat of clouds, their hues a pallid loam, each a dancer, each alone, like dusty charcoal on an ashen brow. Citing both the age...
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    • Team USA Devastated After Home Depot Refuses To Let Athletes Take Time Off For Olympics

      COBB COUNTY, GA—Big-box home improvement giant the Home Depot, which has generously supported the U.S.
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    • Sad Sack Bullied By Area Goose

      ARLINGTON, MA—According to onlookers in Wright Park, local sad sack Morgan Jennings was intimidated, bullied, and sent fleeing for safety by a Canada goose today while walking beside the park's namesake pond.
Sources said the 36-year-old benefits of...
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