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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•24 • Jun 18, 2012
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    • Romney Spends Most Of Factory Visit Yelling At Employees To Work Harder

      NORTHFIELD, OH—Sources at the Gregson-Turner Paper Co. confirmed that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney spent the vast majority of his visit to the company's Ohio-based factory Tuesday yelling at employees to work harder. Romney, who sai...
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    • Peter Jackson Opens Up About His Personal Hobbit Friends In Beginnings Of Genius Marketing Campaign Or Full-On Mental Breakdown

      LOS ANGELES—Either deploying a brilliant strategy to spur excitement for his forthcoming adaptation of The Hobbit or completely losing his grip on reality, filmmaker Peter Jackson told reporters Sunday about the many hobbits with whom he enjo...
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    • Tony Award Disappoints Parents Even More

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    • Man On Verge Of Self-Realization Instead Turns To God

      AUSTIN, TX—A major existential breakthrough was averted Friday when, moments before he had a realization of monumental personal significance, 29-year-old local resident Darrell Gatsas instead turned to God.
      4 of 10
    • Miami Heat Spend Entire Plane Ride To Game 1 Planning Victory Parade

      OKLAHOMA CITY—Sources within the Miami Heat organization reported Tuesday that the Eastern Conference champions spent their entire flight to Oklahoma City planning their NBA championship victory parade.
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    • 'Dallas' Revival To Feature Elderly J.R. Begging To Be Shot

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    • Middle-Aged Woman Angrily Demanding Price Check On Rice Pudding Was Once Carefree Youth, Onlookers Speculate

      WESTBROOK, ME—Once, perhaps very many years ago, the enraged 42-year-old woman currently berating a Hannaford supermarket cashier over the price of a package of Kozy Shack rice pudding was a buoyant, free-spirited youth, bystanders imagined Thursday...
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    • Matt Cain Inadvertently Makes Houston Astros Part Of Baseball History

      Matt Cain Inadvertently Makes Houston Astros Part Of Baseball History
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    • Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony

      APPLETON, WI—Less than 24 hours after their god bestowed two delicious orange slices upon them, local ants reported the capricious deity had picked up the entire ant farm in which they live and shaken it violently, leaving many to wonder what they h...
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    • Deep Orange Sun Slowly, Beautifully Setting On Topher Grace's Career

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