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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•28 • Jul 9, 2012
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    • Keith Richards' Housekeeper Has Braced Herself For Finding Dead Body Every Morning Since 1976

      WESTON, CT—Since her first day on the job in October 1976, Keith Richards' housekeeper Rosemary Velasquez, 64, has mentally and emotionally prepared herself every single day to find the hard-living Rolling Stones guitarist lying dead somewhere in hi...
      1 of 10
    • George Clooney Beginning To Think He Should Buy His Own Tuxedo

      LOS ANGELES—Saying he didn't want to go overboard but thought it would be a pretty good investment considering his line of work, veteran actor George Clooney told reporters Wednesday he's been thinking about just going ahead and buying his own tuxed...
      2 of 10
    • Nation's Couples Hit Rough Spell

      PROVIDENCE, RI—According to a survey released Tuesday by psychologists at Brown University, couples in the United States have been going through a bit of a rough patch lately, and if something doesn't change, and change soon, the future of their rel...
      3 of 10
    • Romney's Numbers Skyrocket After Prostitute Reveals She Paid Him To Sleep With Her

      Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney's approval rating is way up after a prostitute reveals she paid Romney to sleep with her, not the other way around.
      4 of 10
    • New Study Finds 85% Of Americans Don't Know All The Dance Moves To National Anthem

      BOSTON—According to a survey published Wednesday by historians at Boston University, more than 85 percent of Americans are unfamiliar with the upbeat, traditional dance routine intended to accompany the singing of the national anthem. Once taught in...
      5 of 10
    • Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Completes Horror Movie Script About Giant Hook From Sky Killing People

      LOS ANGELES—Former NBA superstar and Hall of Fame center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar confirmed Monday he had finished writing a horror screenplay about a terrifying giant hook that comes from the sky and kills millions of people.
      6 of 10
    • New Prius Helps Environment By Killing Its Owner

      Toyota's new Prius Solution reduces its driver's carbon footprint to zero by impaling them through the lungs with spikes as soon as they get in the car.
      7 of 10
    • Congress Raises Livestock Minimum Wage To $6.50 Per Hour

      WASHINGTON—In response to mounting pressures from domesticated farm animals, Congress voted Monday to raise the minimum wage for livestock to $6.50 an hour.
      8 of 10
    • Dodgers Grounds Crew Places Tarp Over Unsightly Crowd

      LOS ANGELES—The Los Angeles Dodgers were forced to stop play Sunday against the Chicago White Sox to allow the grounds crew to come out and pull a tarp over the unsightly Dodger Stadium crowd.
      9 of 10
    • Report On Continuing Plight Of Millions Of Unemployed Americans Results In Round Of High-Fives At Romney Campaign Headquarters

      BOSTON—Bleak unemployment numbers released Wednesday reportedly sent a wave of applause cascading through the headquarters of Mitt Romney's presidential campaign, with staffers rejoicing at news that millions of jobless Americans will continue to fa...
      10 of 10
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