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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•29 • Jul 23, 2012
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    • Christian Bale Glad To Be Done With Most Humiliating Experience Of Professional Life

      HOLLYWOOD—Calling the last decade the most embarrassing of his 20-year-long acting career, Dark Knight Rises star Christian Bale expressed relief today that his days of "dressing up in a rubber suit and pretending to be a comic book su...
      1 of 10
    • Romney Comes Clean, Admits He Made $32 Trillion In 2006

      BOSTON—In an effort to make a full disclosure of his professional and financial records following discrepancies over his stewardship of Bain Capital, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney admitted Monday that in 2006 he personally made $32 t...
      2 of 10
    • New Study Finds Americans Need 6 Hours Of Sleep At Work

      PHILADELPHIA—A study published Monday in the Annals Of Internal Medicine concludes that the average American needs at least six full hours of uninterrupted sleep at work in order to leave the office feeling refreshed and alert.
      3 of 10
    • God Admits Humans Not Most Impressive Creation

      'It's Mountains,' Says Divine Being

      THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH—The Lord our God, Divine Creator and Ruler of the Universe, announced Wednesday that He considered mountains, not mankind, to be far and away the most impressive thing He had ever brought into being. Calling the selection ...
      4 of 10
    • 'You Will Die Someday And It Will Be Sad,' All Man Thinking During Dinner With Parents

      CHICAGO—During dinner with his visiting parents at the Italian eatery Prosecco last Saturday, the only thing 29-year-old Eric Kauffman could think about was that the man and woman who had raised him, cared for him, and supported him all his life wou...
      5 of 10
    • Kevin Youkilis Takes Out Full-Page Ad In 'Juggs' To Thank All The Trim In Boston

      BOSTON—Former Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis took out a full-page advertisement in Juggs on Monday thanking "all the trim in Boston" for being "the absolute greatest cooch in the world." "Dear Gash of Boston: For the past ...
      6 of 10
    • Commanding General In Afghanistan Has No Idea How War Is Going, Just Trying To Ignore It At This Point

      KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Admitting he hasn't been following combat operations all that closely lately, Gen.
      7 of 10
    • Additional Findings Show Every Penn State Student, Alumnus Also Knew About Ongoing Child Molestation

      STATE COLLEGE, PA— The recently released Freeh Report on Pennsylvania State University, which placed blame on university higher-ups for failing to protect children against sexual predator Jerry Sandusky, also revealed that every student attending ...
      8 of 10
    • Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado Shooting's Aftermath Will Play Out

      WASHINGTON—Americans across the nation confirmed today that, unfortunately, due to their extreme familiarity with the type of tragedy that occurred in a Colorado movie theater last night, they sadly know exactly how the events following the horrific...
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    • NRA: 'Please Try To Remember All The Wonderful Things Guns Do For Us Every Day'

      FAIRFAX, VA—In the wake of last evening's horrific shooting that killed 12 in a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado, representatives from the National Rifle Association asked all Americans to please try, in this moment of sadness and grief, to remembe...
      10 of 10
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