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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•36 • Sep 10, 2012
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    • Romney, Ryan Sneak Into DNC While Posing As Caterers

      1 of 14
    • Report: Average American Consumes 156 Pounds Of Sugar Per Year But Would Like To Consume Much More

      WASHINGTON—A U.S. Department of Agriculture report published Monday revealed the average American consumes 156 pounds of sugar a year but would, ideally, prefer to ingest a far greater amount.
      2 of 14
    • Americans Take Day Off From Looking For Work

      NEW YORK—Citing the day-in, day-out grind of waking up early every morning and plugging away nonstop to find a job, Americans across the nation are spending their Labor Day taking a well-deserved day off from looking for work.
      3 of 14
    • Sun Myung Moon Funeral To Be All Weird, Sources Report

      GAPYEONG, SOUTH KOREA—Citing the myriad bizarre religious customs practiced by the Unification Church, sources told reporters Monday that they expect the funeral of recently deceased founder Rev.
      4 of 14
    • Joe Biden Hitchhikes To Democratic National Convention

      WASHINGTON—Saying it was his duty to "heed the call of the open road," Vice President Joe Biden set off hitchhiking to the Democratic National Convention today, relying solely on his charm and the generosity of passing motorists to make hi...
      5 of 14
    • Teammates Feel Absolutely Nothing During Hug With Returning A-Rod

      ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Members of the New York Yankees reportedly failed to experience even the slightest tinge of emotion Monday while hugging teammate Alex Rodriguez, who returned to the lineup following a six-week layoff with a fractured hand.
      6 of 14
    • DNC Lacking Same Delusional Magic It Had In 2008

      CHARLOTTE, NC—With the 2012 Democratic National Convention now under way in Charlotte, Beltway observers are reporting that the mood inside the Time Warner Cable Arena remains spirited and optimistic, despite a noticeable lack of the delusional, com...
      7 of 14
    • Clint Eastwood To Publish New Autobiography: 'I…Where You're Alive And They—You Write A Book About You'

      Year In Review 

      NEW YORK—According to publisher HarperCollins, 82-year-old actor Clint Eastwood’s new autobiography, I…Where You’re Alive And They—You Write A Book About You, will be released this October, just in time for the holida...
      8 of 14
    • 'Breaking Bad' Creator Thinking Maybe Next Season Should Take Dark Turn

      LOS ANGELES—Following last Sunday’s Breaking Bad midseason finale, creator and showrunner Vince Gilligan told reporters that in a departure from the “light, fun tone” that has characterized the program thus far, the concludi...
      9 of 14
    • Bill Clinton Finally Just Shows America His Penis

      CHARLOTTE, NC—During his speech Wednesday evening at the Democratic National Convention in downtown Charlotte, former U.S.
      10 of 14
    • Prince Charles Thinks Boys Are Finally Old Enough To Hear What Happened To Their Mother

      LONDON—Feeling that his sons were finally mature enough to handle the truth, Prince Charles reportedly decided Thursday to tell Princes William and Harry what really happened to their mother, the late Princess Diana.
      11 of 14
    • Obama: 'Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness'

      CHARLOTTE, NC—With the savage roar of the heathen Democratic horde rising all around him, President Barack Obama delivered an incendiary speech to close his party’s national convention Thursday night, commanding the ultraprogressive minions in...
      12 of 14
    • Biden Says Life Better Than It Was 4 Years Ago But Nothing Can Touch Summer Of '87

      CHARLOTTE, NC—Accepting his renomination at the Democratic National Convention on Thursday, Vice President Joe Biden countered recent Republican criticisms by asserting that most Americans were indeed better off than they were four ago, but he ackno...
      13 of 14
    • New Zipcarp Service Offers Short-Term Carp Rentals

      BOSTON—Announcing its plan to offer short-term, affordable carp  rentals for urbanites and college students who don’t own a carp of their  own, Zipcarp Inc. launched a brand-new fish-sharing service earlier  this month.
      14 of 14
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