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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•38 • Sep 17, 2012
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    • Apple Announces New iPhone With N-Word On Back Knowing Customers Will Buy It Anyway

      SAN FRANCISCO—With CEO Tim Cook stating that desperate customers would surely “line up like idiots” to purchase the offensive product anyway, Apple announced today the release of the company’s new iPhone 5, which features the word ...
      1 of 13
    • Number Of Users Who Actually Enjoy Facebook Down To 4

      WASHINGTON—A comprehensive and groundbreaking new report released Monday by the Pew Research Center’s Internet and American Life Project has found that only four users of Facebook derive pleasure of any kind from the popular social networking ...
      2 of 13
    • Nationals Ensure Strasburg Doesn't Pitch By Removing Tendons From Arm

      WASHINGTON—With Stephen Strasburg reaching his innings limit for the year, Nationals personnel announced plans Sunday to shut down the star pitcher for the remainder of the regular season and playoffs by removing several tendons from his right arm.
      3 of 13
    • Target Pulls All Sponsorship From Publicly Ignored Syrian Conflict

      MINNEAPOLIS—Retail giant Target announced Monday that, due to a complete lack of public interest or attention in the conflict, the company is ending its sponsorship of the ongoing civil war in Syria.
      4 of 13
    • Blissful Ignorance Commemorated On Annual 9/10 Anniversary

      NEW YORK—In cities and communities throughout the nation today, Americans gathered by the thousands to commemorate the blissful ignorance of Sept.
      5 of 13
    • FBI Receives Credible Information About Terrorist Attack On Sept. 11, 2001

      WASHINGTON—Speaking at an impromptu press conference early this morning, FBI officials revealed the discovery of new information regarding a possible terrorist attack within the United States on Sept.
      6 of 13
    • 18-Year-Old Fighting In Afghanistan Has 9/11 Explained To Him By Older Soldier

      KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN—After asking why the United States was in Afghanistan in the first place, 18-year-old U.S.
      7 of 13
    • 9/11 Truther Convinced Government Destroyed Past 11 Years Of His Life

      PROVIDENCE, RI—Citing “overwhelming evidence,” 9/11 Truth movement adherent Dennis E.
      8 of 13
    • 20th Century Fox Green-Lights 'United 93 vs. Predator'

      LOS ANGELES—Seeking to expand on two of their most beloved properties, 20th Century Fox executives have approved production on United 93 vs.
      9 of 13
    • Paul Ryan Knocked Over By Pack Of Rambunctious Romney Boys

      BELMONT, MA—Visiting the home of running mate Mitt Romney today, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) was reportedly knocked to the floor by a pack of rambunctious, wet-nosed Romney boys, all five of whom jumped onto the vice presidential candidate as soon as he e...
      10 of 13
    • Magazine Article About Mindy Kaling Fails To Mention She’s A Woman

      NEW YORK—According to sources, a piece appearing in this month’s issue of Vanity Fair magazine about actress, comedian, and author Mindy Kaling does not once mention that she is a woman.
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    • New Roomba Blender Makes Smoothie Out Of Everything In Its Path

      BEDFORD, MA—In an exciting extension of their product line, the creators of the Roomba-brand self-directed vacuum cleaner have introduced the Yumba, a new household blender capable of mixing a rich, frothy smoothie out of whatever ingredients it suc...
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    • Fed Admits Up Until Now U.S. Has Just Been Coasting Off Money From 'Avatar'

      'We Spent It All' Reveals Bernanke

      WASHINGTON—Addressing the nation’s finances at a major economic conference Friday, Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke acknowledged that for the past three years the United States has been scraping by on the revenue generated by the 2009 sci...
      13 of 13
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