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    The Week In Pictures

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 48•49 • Dec 10, 2012
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    • Congress Arrested On Manslaughter Charges

      In a stunning development that has left every federal institution reeling, the U.S. government’s legislative branch was arrested this afternoon on 23.3 million separate charges of manslaughter, sources confirmed.
      1 of 15
    • Reports Of Movie Being Good Reach Area Man

      CHICAGO—Local resident Daniel Paxson has reportedly heard dozens of accounts from numerous friendly sources in the past two weeks confirming that the new James Bond film is pretty good.
      2 of 15
    • Apple Promises To Fix Glitches In Map Software By Rearranging Earth's Geography

      Apple is working hard to move streets, buildings, and natural features of the Earth itself to be consistent with their heavily criticized Maps software.
      3 of 15
    • Hardee's Introduces Shame Curtains For Customers To Eat Behind

      ST. LOUIS—In response to extensive market research, fast food chain Hardee’s announced plans Tuesday to equip every table at its restaurants with its all-new “Shame Curtains,” large, dark drapes behind which menu items can be consu...
      4 of 15
    • 15-Year-Old Duchess Of McComb, AL Announces Pregnancy

      MCCOMB, AL—In an announcement that quickly set Lowndes County abuzz with excitement, royal family sources revealed Tuesday that Brandy Puckett, 15, Duchess of McComb and first in the line of succession to the throne, was pregnant with her first chil...
      5 of 15
    • Royal Family Releases Kate Middleton Ultrasound Image

      LONDON—Excited members of the British royal family released an ultrasound image Tuesday morning showing the unborn child of the former Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, whose pregnancy was officially announced yesterday.
      6 of 15
    • Dunbar Family Forced To Discontinue Print Edition Of Christmas Newsletter

      PAULLINA, IA—In an e-mail to readers on Monday, editors of the Dunbar Family Annual Christmas Update announced that due to logistical constraints, they had decided to cease print publication of the newsletter, which will move to a web-only di...
      7 of 15
    • Department Of Transportation Announces New Highway Concert Series

      WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of Transportation announced plans Wednesday to stage Traffic Jam 2013, a brand-new highway concert series that will feature popular musical acts performing for passing motorists on America’s shoulder lanes, media...
      8 of 15
    • Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games

      In a sudden departure from their long-held stance of not being here to play games and not, in fact, having the time to play games, the nation’s hardass cops announced Wednesday they had finally carved out a couple hours during which games could be p...
      9 of 15
    • Pope Tweets Picture Of Self With God

      MIAMI—In his first post since joining social networking site Twitter early this week, Pope Benedict XVI has tweeted a picture of himself spending time with the Lord Our God, Divine Creator of the Universe.
      10 of 15
    • Victoria's Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don't Know That Pornography Exists

      Viewers who have never seen nor heard of the concept of pornography provided a massive ratings bump for this year's lingerie fashion show.
      11 of 15
    • Relationship Definitely Hurtling Toward Something

      GURNEE, IL—After dating only two months, local couple Marcus Evenberg and Tyra Stone told reporters Wednesday their relationship already appeared to be hurtling toward something, though they could not confirm what that might be.
      12 of 15
    • 38-Year-Old Little Boy Posts Picture Of Fast Car He Likes To Facebook

      Informing reporters that it was one of the coolest things he had ever seen, 38-year-old little boy Nick Weber posted a photograph of a fast car he liked to his Facebook account Saturday.
      13 of 15
    • Man Freely Smoking Pot in Washington Literally Has No Issue He Feels Strongly About Anymore

      SEATTLE—Celebrating the new law in Washington state that allows him to freely smoke marijuana within his home, local man Erik Cirrone, 25, told reporters Thursday there is no longer any political or social issue he feels strongly about in any way wh...
      14 of 15
    • Sitcom Characters Still In Shock After Christmas Episode Proves Existence Of Santa Claus

      ORSON, IN—Characters from ABC situational comedy The Middle are reportedly still in complete and utter shock after the conclusion of a recent Christmas episode revealed that Santa Claus does in fact exist.
      15 of 15
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