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    The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 18, 2013

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 49•07 • Feb 18, 2013
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    • World Surrenders To North Korea

      PYONGYANG—Following reports earlier this morning that the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea successfully conducted its third nuclear test, sources confirmed that every nation on the planet has surrendered to the mighty East Asian dictators...
      1 of 15
    • Coworkers Brought To Place Of Unthinkable Intimacy By Team-Building Exercise

      SCHAUMBURG, IL—Visibly emotional employees at Casper-Neville Communications confirmed Monday that a 30-minute team-building exercise organized by the company’s management had instilled within them an intense solidarity, bringing the group to a...
      2 of 15
    • Resigning Pope No Longer Has Strength To Lead Church Backward

      VATICAN CITY—Citing his advancing age and deteriorating health, Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation from the papacy Monday, saying he no longer possessed the strength and energy required to lead the Catholic Church backward.
      3 of 15
    • Mumford And Sons Take Home Coveted 'Vest Of The Year' Grammy

      LOS ANGELES—After weeks of speculation within the music industry, English folk-rock group Mumford and Sons took home the big prize at Sunday’s 55th Annual Grammy Awards by winning the highly coveted Vest of the Year trophy.
      4 of 15
    • 'Walking Dead' Writers Regret Naming Every Single Character 'Rick'

      ATLANTA—As The Walking Dead returns to AMC for the second half of its third season, writers for the popular zombie drama told reporters Monday they are beginning to regret naming absolutely all of the characters in the series “Rick....
      5 of 15
    • Santana And Rob Thomas' 'Smooth' Sweeps Grammy Awards For 13th Year In A Row

      The unstoppable mega-hit 'Smooth' by Santana featuring Rob Thomas continued its unstoppable Grammy streak, picking up awards in every major category.
      6 of 15
    • New Sony Nose Buds Allow Users To Blast Different Smells Into Nostrils

      NEW YORK—Hailing the product as a revolution in smelling technology, Sony released its sleek new line of nose buds Monday, which will allow consumers to blast a variety of scents directly into their nostrils whenever and wherever they please. The ne...
      7 of 15
    • Panicked Biden Interrupts State Of The Union To Ask If Erections Can Ever Be Medical Emergency

      WASHINGTON—Claiming that he had a “huge honking woody that just won’t quit,” Vice President Joe Biden interrupted President Barack Obama during the State of the Union tonight, asking the commander-in-chief in a frightened voice if ...
      8 of 15
    • 'The State Of The Union Is Strong,' Says Man Responsible For Shielding Nation From Truth

      WASHINGTON—Though presiding over a country hampered by war, an economic recession, dramatic cultural upheaval, and a partisan divide at the highest levels of government, the man responsible for shielding American citizens from reality declared tonig...
      9 of 15
    • Website Humiliating Itself

      SAN FRANCISCO—With its shameless self-promotion, gratuitous content recycling, and completely disorienting design, aggregator website FlavorMix.com is utterly humiliating itself, sources confirmed Friday.
      10 of 15
    • Girlfriend Just Wants To Have Low-Key, Laid-Back Valentine's Day Fight This Year

      BEREA, KY—Saying that she didn’t want to go all out and turn the evening into a “big huge thing,” area woman Caitlin Omstead announced Wednesday that she would prefer to celebrate Valentine’s Day this year with a nice, low-ke...
      11 of 15
    • Double Amputee Proves He Is Capable Of Anything

      12 of 15
    • Devoted Abuser Stops By Girlfriend's Office To Deliver Surprise Threat

      FREMONT, CA—Claiming that he just wanted to do something malicious to her, committed abuser Matthew Strachan, 29, surprised his girlfriend at her office Thursday with an unexpected threat, workplace sources confirmed.
      13 of 15
    • Man Didn't Expect Sex With Prostitute Would Be So Emotionally Fulfilling

      BRACKNEY, PA—Expressing both joy and astonishment, 55-year-old accountant Jacob Reynolds confirmed Wednesday that a recent rendezvous with a prostitute had left him completely and utterly satisfied on an emotional level.
      14 of 15
    • Report: World Now Down To 5 Stories That Are Inspirational

      JOHANNESBURG—In the wake of reports that double amputee Paralympic champion Oscar Pistorius, 26, had been charged with the murder of his girlfriend Thursday, a report filed today by the Pew Research Center stated that the world is now down to just f...
      15 of 15
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