Michelle Obama Seen Outside Walking Family Rhinoceros

The Onion Looks Back At 'The Wizard Of Oz'

Nelson Mandela Admits Thoughts, Prayers Of Millions Played No Part In Recovery

‘My Doctors Treated Me,’ Explains South African Icon

New Iranian President Really Impressed With Country’s Nuclear Arms Program

‘Whitey Bulger Ordered The Murder Of 19 People,’ Reports Anonymous Rat Bastard

Sources: You Don’t Want To Know What Currently Happening To Saudi Arabian Woman

Will Season Four Of ‘Downton Abbey’ Finally Show The Wizards Using Their Powers?

Financial Sector Thinks It’s About Ready To Ruin World Again

Syrian Rebels, Government Think It’s About Time To Call Syria A Day

Nation Admits It Always A Little Bored By Whole Jimmy Hoffa Thing

‘Why Is This Fascinating Again?’ Populace Asks

Ahmadinejad Signs On As Dean At Sarah Lawrence

U.S. Citizenry Admits It Could Kind Of Go For Charismatic Authoritarian Dictator

Fully Leveled-Up Video Game Character Marvels At How Far He's Come

Ecstatic American Indians Praise 'The Lone Ranger'

'Finally Our Story Is Being Told,' Tribespeople Say

Nation Currently More Sympathetic To Demise Of Planet Krypton Than Plight Of Syria