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    The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 18, 2013

    Slideshow • News • ISSUE 49•11 • Mar 18, 2013
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    • Singing Dancing Boy Upset

      LOS ANGELES –After tuckering himself out this week and cancelling his popular musical shows, sources confirmed that the singing dancing boy is very upset, and is refusing to get dressed up and sing and dance again until he’s feeling all better...
      1 of 15
    • Iowa Fashion Week Begins

      DES MOINES, IA—The greater Des Moines area was abuzz with excitement Monday as Iowa’s annual Fashion Week officially kicked off, opening a busy seven days of runway shows and clothing exhibitions showcasing Iowa’s hottest new styles from...
      2 of 15
    • SXSW As Cool And As Real As It Gets, Reports Marketing Associate

      AUSTIN, TX—While attending the fourth day of this year’s SXSW conference, Chicago-based marketing associate Tim Danner told reporters today that the music, film, and interactive festival is just about as cool, as alternative, and as real as it...
      3 of 15
    • ‘It’s Like Biggie And Tupac All Over Again,’ Says Dumbass Of Korean Conflict

      CLEVELAND—Following reports of newly heightened tensions between North and South Korea, local imbecile Aaron Weiss, 29, concluded today that the escalating international conflict was highly reminiscent of the rivalry between popular 1990s rap artist...
      4 of 15
    • The 8 Worst-Dressed At The Papal Conclave

      5 of 15
    • Rigorous Battery Of Tests Unable To Determine If Roommate Broke Up With Girlfriend

      NASHVILLE, TN—Local resident Darren Callahan, 26, told reporters Wednesday that even after administering a rigorous battery of diagnostic tests, he has been unable to definitively conclude whether his roommate Paul Elmaleh, 25, has broken up with hi...
      6 of 15
    • Mom Calmly Emptying Dishwasher As If Shrieking Argument Didn’t Happen 10 Minutes Ago

      RUTLAND, VT—Kitchen sources reported Wednesday that local mom Tina Reyes is currently emptying the dishwasher with an impressively calm disposition, betraying no sign of the fact that just 10 minutes ago she was engaged in a vicious shouting match w...
      7 of 15
    • Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For Once

      Jim and Tracy meet the incredible ballet prodigy who choreographed an entire desperate plea for her father's attention all on her own.
      8 of 15
    • Pope Francis Resigns

      The Catholic world was rocked today as 76-year-old Pope Francis I announced plans to step down at the end of the month.
      9 of 15
    • Opposition To Soda Ban Sad Proof That Americans Still Fight For What They Believe In

      NEW YORK—The mounting opposition to New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s proposal to prohibit the sale of large-size soft drinks served as sad and sobering proof that Americans are still willing to fight for the causes they believe in, sour...
      10 of 15
    • Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing 'B.A. In Communications' On Résumé

      SEATTLE—Calling his résumé “exceptional” and “like nothing we’ve ever seen,” the human resources department at local public relations firm Brink & Tiller called 22-year-old job applicant Corey Wilhelm ...
      11 of 15
    • 14-Year-Old Congressional Whiz Kid Balances Budget

      WASHINGTON—At an age when most boys are going to Little League practice and playing video games with their friends, spunky Congressional whiz kid Paul Ryan, 14, has issued a comprehensive proposal to balance the federal budget, impressed Washington ...
      12 of 15
    • Arm & Hammer Representative Starting To Wonder What He's Doing At SXSW

      AUSTIN—Saying that he was initially excited to attend South by Southwest, Arm & Hammer representative John Meyers told reporters Tuesday that he’s now uncertain how exactly the leading manufacturer of baking soda fits into the music, film,...
      13 of 15
    • James Holmes’ Arraignment Delayed As Court Struggles To Remember Which Mass Shooter He Is

      Court officials complain that it’s too difficult to keep track of every massacre and that recalling one from all the way back in July of 2012 is almost impossible.
      14 of 15
    • Nervous Pope Candidate Changes Wine Into Jesus Christ's Urine

      VATICAN CITY—While undergoing the selection process at the ongoing papal conclave, anxious pope candidate Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi accidentally transformed the sacramental wine into Jesus Christ’s urine, the embarrassed church official confi...
      15 of 15
    • More Slideshows

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      • The 8 Worst-Dressed At The Papal Conclave

      • The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 11, 2013

      • The Top 10 Celebrity Pip Blips

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