It's snowing today and Abundant Life Christian Academy is the only one with the balls to stay open
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 44•20 • May 22, 2008
    • Facebook54
    • Twitter1
    • Google Plus1
    • Racehorse Shows Up For Season 450 Pounds Overweight

      1 of 8
    • Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal

      LOS ANGELES—Even though men with this hairstyle comprise just 3 percent of the US populace, activists argue, they make up 80 percent of TV villains and assholes.
      2 of 8
    • San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge

      SAN DIEGO—The new ultra-efficient complex is open to schoolchildren on field trips, family members of convicted felons, and state-appointed defense lawyers.
      3 of 8
    • New Roommate Hopes Five-Hour Fuckfest Didn't Keep You Up

      OSHKOSH—Brian Penderman went on to explain that the reason his penis was so sore today was because it had repeatedly entered and exited a female vagina.
      4 of 8
    • Well Known Gresham, OR Musicians Form Gresham, OR Supergroup

      5 of 8
    • Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together

      WASHINGTON—
      6 of 8
    • Stackley Cup Playoffs Underway

      NEW YORK—The 2008 Stackley Cup Playoffs, a set of odd-number-of-games series that will determine the champion of the National Huckie League, are well underway, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman confirmed Monday. 



At press time,...
      7 of 8
    • Was Heath Ledger Financing A Street War In The Philippines?

      8 of 8
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • Living With Others

      • Michel Gondry With Box

      • Hollywood's Slicked-Backed-Hair Men

      • The Papacy - A Look Back

      • More Marijuana

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    WORKPLACE

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    NEWS

    Recent News

    Two People Who Went To Same College Ruin Evening For Rest Of GroupEdward Snowden’s Life Just Flat-Out Fun And ExcitingAsshole Awarded For Asshole Behavior By Business Community LeadersGrown Adult Walks Right Into Karate StudioWoman Apparently Wants To Smell EdibleFans Of Green Screens, Incredibly Fake-Looking Things Express Love For Modern CinemaBashar Al-Assad Introduces Syrian Bike-Sharing Program

    Recent Videos

    Report: Economy Just One Speech Away From Recovery

    Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times Area Desk Doesn't Mind If People Sit On It Like A Chair Every Once In Awhile

    • Film: Newswire: James Cameron deigns to select cowriters for three Avatar sequels

    • TV: Great Job, Internet!: Someone is selling 1:72 scale models of the Golden Girls house on Etsy

    • Babylon 5, "Interludes and Examinations"

    • WTF Desktop NotePad

    • Kitten Thinks of Nothing But Murder Magnet

    • "I'm a Douche" Coffee Mug

    • Report: Economy Just One Speech Away From Recovery

    • Nation Just Wants To Be Safe, Happy, Rich, Comfortable, Entertained At All Times

    • A.V. Club Pop Pilgrims: We visit the photo-shoot site that's become a monument to Elliott Smith

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved