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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 45•15 • Apr 13, 2009
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    • Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion

      VATICAN CITY—"In his unending mercy, the Lord hath come unto me one night and he hath said, 'This is totally an option now," proclaimed an anxious Pope Benedict.
      1 of 8
    • Area Man Already Knows Which Chicken Tender He’s Saving For Last

      2 of 8
    • 2008 Tax Records Reveal Sasha Obama Made $136 In Allowance Money

      WASHINGTON—The first daughter tried to dodge senators' questions by playing with her pigtails, leaving to use the bathroom, and asking what
      3 of 8
    • Bill Bellamy Elected To Rock 'N' Jock Basketball Hall Of Fame

      LOS ANGELES—Coolio and Isaiah Rider were also selected by the Rock 'N' Jock Veterans Committee, which consists of Kenny Lofton and Boyz II Men.
      4 of 8
    • Alcohol Only Thing Making Operating Heavy Machinery Bearable

      5 of 8
    • Empowered Man Murders Controlling Wife In Lifetime For Men Original Movie

      LOS ANGELES—The film chronicles the painful ordeal of a fun-loving mechanic who meets a seemingly perfect woman but must soon fight for his own life after she reveals herself to be a clingy, manipulative shrew.
      6 of 8
    • Boss Gets Into Groove After 3rd Round Of Layoffs

      INDIANAPOLIS—Hank Strauss quickly established a natural firing rhythm on Friday afternoon, smoothly easing his employees into unemployment without stumbling once.
      7 of 8
    • The World's Most Terrifying Hook

      8 of 8
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