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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 45•20 • May 17, 2009
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    • Chicken-Shit Asteroid Veers Away At Last Minute

      TUCSON, AZ—"This potential extinction-level event turned out to be a puss-out of cosmic proportions," explained Dr. Richard Kowalski. "Earth didn't even flinch."
      1 of 8
    • RC Car Works Up Courage To Approach Group Of Girls

      2 of 8
    • Detroit Mayor Throws First Brick In Glass-Breaking Ceremony For New Slum

      DETROIT—After three years of construction and nearly $23,000 in public funds, the rat-infested, crime-ridden development will provide unendurable living conditions for thousands of qualifying residents.
      3 of 8
    • Manny Ramirez: 'Am I In Trouble?'

      LOS ANGELES—According to his teammates, his coaches, and the media, Manny Ramirez has appeared visibly confused and anxious since receiving a 50-game suspension for violating Major League Baseball's drug policy.
      4 of 8
    • Nike Introduces New Intercourse Shoe

      BEAVERTON, OR—According to a Nike press release, the Air Fornicator's revolutionary midsole component works to adapt to the user’s pelvic motions and cushions the overall shock of repetitive grinding.
      5 of 8
    • Startled Glen Davis Retracts Head Into Body

      6 of 8
    • Area Mom, Jerry To Wed

      HARRISBURG, PA—"You remember Jerry," Mom said in a long-distance telephone call to her youngest son, Daniel Schickele, 29. "He bought you that variety tin of popcorn last Christmas."
      7 of 8
    • Who Dumped Who? Or Is It Whom? 10 Common Grammar Mistakes

      8 of 8
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