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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 45•36 • Sep 8, 2009
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    • Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked

      LEBANON, OHIO—Although Armstrong said he "could have sworn" he felt the effects of zero gravity while soaring out of the Earth's atmosphere and through space, he now believes his memory must be flawed.
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    • Jostens Unveils New Engagement Rings For Pregnant High-Schoolers

      2 of 8
    • Report: Some Kid's Head Cracked Open In Gym This Morning

      NAPERVILLE—Although the extent of the injury has not yet been determined, seventh-grade sources said that it was totally gushing blood and would probably need like 400 stitches.
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    • Fred Durst Spray Paints 'Limp Bizkit' On Bridge

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    • Small, Unathletic Walk-On Injures 9 Starters In Notre Dame Football Practice

      SOUTH BEND, IN—During Wednesday's afternoon practice, 17-year-old Brian Novak, a 145-pound walk-on for the struggling Notre Dame football team, injured nine starters, including third-year quarterback Jimmy Clausen, junior wide receiver...
      5 of 8
    • Haiti Makes Bid For 2216 Olympics

      PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI—Organizers of the LXXXI Olympiad, which would be held in the capital city of Port-au-Prince, said the event will showcase the many attractions that are sure to be conceptualized, financed, and constructed over the next 207 years.
      6 of 8
    • Loser Senior Takes Loser Freshman Under His Wing

      MARGATE, FL—Senior Chris Payack claims to have imparted much wisdom to the freshman, including the locations of bathrooms with working locks on the stalls, the perks of being a media center aide, and the names of sympathetic teachers who will let you eat lunch with them in their classrooms.
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    • America: Is It Worth The Effort?

      8 of 8
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