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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•01 • Jan 11, 2010
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    • Cat Refuses To Die

      SOMERVILLE, MA—
      1 of 8
    • Virgin Mary Night-Light Stares Accusingly As Christian Teen Masturbates

      2 of 8
    • VH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut Spill

      Clean-up crews are hard at work after a VH1 bus carrying reality show contestants overturned, spilling 2,000 pounds of highly concentrated slut.
      3 of 8
    • Nation's Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism Reports

      WASHINGTON—
      4 of 8
    • Clint Eastwood Continues Desperate, 40-Year Attempt To Win Over Unimpressed Man

      LOS ANGELES—Five-time Academy Award winner and Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood attended a press junket Tuesday to promote his new film Invictus, the latest project in the director's long line of failed attempts to impress Wheeling, WV resident Daryl Lorrimer.
      5 of 8
    • Everyone At Hospital Already Hates Wes Welker

      BOSTON—Though injured New England Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker has only been in the hospital for five days, doctors, nurses, support staff, and fellow patients told reporters Thursday that the extremely passionate and determined Welker has already annoyed the hell out of everyone.
      6 of 8
    • Redwood Tree Completes 300-Year Plan To Lean Slightly To Left

      7 of 8
    • Man Gets Life In Order For 36 Minutes

      JACKSONVILLE, FL—
      8 of 8
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