Single stalk of wheat between teeth kind of heat.
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•13 • Apr 5, 2010
    • Facebook26
    • Twitter1
    • Google Plus0
    • Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed

      WASHINGTON—Thousands of mothers and fathers polled as part of the report believe that those running American homes, such as themselves, cannot be trusted to keep their kids safe. "Simply put, it's not the job of parents to raise these kids," said one parent.
      1 of 9
    • Drake's Introduces New Yodel Bandolier

      2 of 9
    • Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

      Tulane University researchers say Quigley is now able to experience the  crippling fear of impending death previously only accessible to humans.
      3 of 9
    • U.S. Government To Save Billions By Cutting Wasteful Senator Program

      WASHINGTON—In an effort to reduce wasteful spending and eliminate non-vital federal services, the U.S. government announced plans this week to cut its long-standing senator program, a move it says will help save more than $300 billion each year.
      4 of 9
    • Seeing Ken Griffey Jr. In Backwards Hat Now Just Depressing

      SEATTLE—Baseball fans across the nation admitted Monday that the sight of Ken Griffey Jr. in a backwards baseball cap—an iconic image that once filled fans with joy...
      5 of 9
    • Rich Guy Feeling Left Out Of Recession

      WILTON, CT—"It's just not fair," said the 49-year-old real estate developer and grandson of oil baron Duncan Chandler. "Everyone is worrying about an uncertain future and coming together to express their outrage, and I don’t get to be a part of it."
      6 of 9
    • Red Sox Announce Plans To Return Fenway To Original 1912 Conditions

      Nostalgic Sox fans will be delighted by the re-antiquated Fenway Park complete with splintered bleachers and obstructed views.
      7 of 9
    • Chimp In Cocaine Study Starts Lying To Friends

      ATLANTA—Early in the study, Bobo's elevated mood and excessive chattering made him quite popular among the other chimpanzees. But researchers claimed that his increased irritability, short temper, and absenteeism at the jungle gym did not go unnoticed.
      8 of 9
    • Are These Guys Third Eye Blind?

      9 of 9
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • Mobile Technology

      • Basketball

      • New York City

      • The Week In Review

      • The Week In Review

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

    Recent News

    Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office16-Year-Old Excited To Have Whole Summer To Plan Shooting For Next School YearFossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam EarthAmerican Dental Association Recommends Making Your Gums Hurt Really Bad Once A DayNew Michael Bay Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 ExplosionsProgressive Charter School Doesn’t Have StudentsScientists Find Link Between How Pathetic You Are, How Fast You Respond To Emails

    Recent Videos

    Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts'

    New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your DickAutopsy Of A Scene: Paul Feig Points Out How Many Ghosts Are In This Scene From 'The Heat'

    • Pretty Little Liars, "Face Time"

    • TV: TV Club: Being Mary Jane

    • TV: TV Club: Nine For IX -- Venus Vs.

    • Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody

    • WTF Stamp

    • Cheat To Win Bracelet

    • Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts

    • A.V. Undercover: Machester Orchestra Covers Faces' "Ohh La La"

    • New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved