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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•15 • Apr 21, 2010
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    • New Six Flags Ride Based On Relationship With Deborah

      VALENCIA, CA—"I can't decide if I hate the ride or myself for going on it," said one rider. "At one point I glanced over at the people on other coasters and they all looked so much happier. Maybe this is just the type of coaster I deserve."
      1 of 10
    • Meat Industry Introduces New Easy-Tear Perforated Beef

      2 of 10
    • Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations

      Congress hopes the Pornographic Media Concealment Act will ensure a lasting, respectable legacy for our nation, unmarred by the massive quantities of filthy porn we regularly consume.
      3 of 10
    • U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

      WASHINGTON—Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed directly to the faulty U.S. models, which have been utilized extensively since the 18th century in sectors as diverse as government, the military, and public education.
      4 of 10
    • All Sports To Cease So Skip Bayless Has Nothing To Talk About

      NEW YORK—Expressing regret that joyless, wrongheaded ESPN commentator and attack journalist Skip Bayless could not be dealt with otherwise, commissioners from every major professional sporting league, top officials of amateur athletic associations, ...
      5 of 10
    • Sad Sack Purchases Screenwriting Software

      AKRON, OH—"I'm excited," said the 36-year-old sad sack, who bought the popular program Final Draft 8 at Best Buy during his work lunch break. "I figured that if I'm going to give screenwriting a try, I should have the right software."
      6 of 10
    • Exhibitionist Zoo Elephants Waiting For Crowd To Gather Before Screwing

      7 of 10
    • In The Know: Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?

      In The Know panelists debate how a high quality product like the EZ-Go Juicer could be available at such a low, low price.
      8 of 10
    • Opening Staff Rails Against Incompetence Of Closing Staff

      ATHENS, GA—Citing a recent rash of barely mopped floors, sloppy register work, and general negligence, the opening staff of local restaurant Dom's issued a harsh proclamation this week, saying it would no longer endure the half-assed performance of the closing staff.
      9 of 10
    • 2010 Year In Review: Because How Could Things Possibly Get Any Better After A March Like That?

      10 of 10
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