Continued gray skies until you try the new antidepressant from the makers of Effexor.
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•15 • Apr 21, 2010
    • Facebook9
    • Twitter0
    • Google Plus3
    • New Six Flags Ride Based On Relationship With Deborah

      VALENCIA, CA—"I can't decide if I hate the ride or myself for going on it," said one rider. "At one point I glanced over at the people on other coasters and they all looked so much happier. Maybe this is just the type of coaster I deserve."
      1 of 10
    • Meat Industry Introduces New Easy-Tear Perforated Beef

      2 of 10
    • Congress Announces Plan To Hide Nation's Porn From Future Generations

      Congress hopes the Pornographic Media Concealment Act will ensure a lasting, respectable legacy for our nation, unmarred by the massive quantities of filthy porn we regularly consume.
      3 of 10
    • U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

      WASHINGTON—Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed directly to the faulty U.S. models, which have been utilized extensively since the 18th century in sectors as diverse as government, the military, and public education.
      4 of 10
    • All Sports To Cease So Skip Bayless Has Nothing To Talk About

      NEW YORK—Expressing regret that joyless, wrongheaded ESPN commentator and attack journalist Skip Bayless could not be dealt with otherwise, commissioners from every major professional sporting league, top officials of amateur athletic associations, ...
      5 of 10
    • Sad Sack Purchases Screenwriting Software

      AKRON, OH—"I'm excited," said the 36-year-old sad sack, who bought the popular program Final Draft 8 at Best Buy during his work lunch break. "I figured that if I'm going to give screenwriting a try, I should have the right software."
      6 of 10
    • Exhibitionist Zoo Elephants Waiting For Crowd To Gather Before Screwing

      7 of 10
    • In The Know: Should More Americans Get In On The EZ-Go Juicer Craze?

      In The Know panelists debate how a high quality product like the EZ-Go Juicer could be available at such a low, low price.
      8 of 10
    • Opening Staff Rails Against Incompetence Of Closing Staff

      ATHENS, GA—Citing a recent rash of barely mopped floors, sloppy register work, and general negligence, the opening staff of local restaurant Dom's issued a harsh proclamation this week, saying it would no longer endure the half-assed performance of the closing staff.
      9 of 10
    • 2010 Year In Review: Because How Could Things Possibly Get Any Better After A March Like That?

      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Common Man

      • The Week In Review

      • The Week In Review

      • Mobile Technology

      • Basketball

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    NEWS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    ENTERTAINMENT

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    LIFESTYLE

    Recent News

    U.S. Disc Jockey General Urges Americans To Get The Led OutU.S. Disc Jockey General Urges Americans To Get The Led OutScientific Breakthrough Reveals Stars Consist Primarily Of TwinklesLast 12 Years A Real Wake-Up Call For Area ManArea Man Beginning To Think He Has Memorial Day OffReport: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple Seconds3-Day Weekend Practically Already Over

    Recent Videos

    Desperate Earth Begins Accelerating Rotation In Effort To Hurl Humankind Off Surface

    Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice CommandsObama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

    • Games: The Gameological Society: Here's what we know about the Xbox One--and what we don't--courtesy of the Gameological Bulletin

    • Newswire: Weekend Box Office: America spends its holiday driving, and watching people drive

    • Music: Newswire: Stone Temple Pilots sue Scott Weiland, whose feelings are hurt by the whole thing

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Government-Issued PSA Urging Teens To Fuck Their Brains Out

    • Best of Onion Sports: OSN Tackles Underreported Sports

    • Xbox One Capable Of Controlling Users With Simple Voice Commands

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved