Hurricane-force pollen count
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•21 • Jun 1, 2010
    • Facebook30
    • Twitter4
    • Google Plus0
    • National Parks Closed For Annual Remajestification

      WASHINGTON—According to officials, the weeklong process includes extensive brook re-babbling, the application of new bark to some 37,000 giant redwood trees, litter removal, and the sharpening and re-snowcapping of every peak in the Rockies.
      1 of 10
    • Tony Blair Apparently Not British Prime Minister Anymore

      2 of 10
    • Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming

      Constitutional debate continues over whether public schools should include biblical Armageddon alongside global warming in end-of-world curriculum.
      3 of 10
    • White House Jester Beheaded For Making Fun Of Soaring National Debt

      WASHINGTON—"For crimes of great arrogance and cheek, His Idiocy the White House Jester has been sentenced to a swift demise," said White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "Let it be heard over every city and suburb of this land that the National Debt is no topic for frivolity, and the mailed hand of Obama shall smite all offenders."
      4 of 10
    • Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths

      SCHAUMBURG, IL—In an ultimately futile act some have described as courageous and others have called a mere postponing of the inevitable, existentialist firefighter James Farber delayed three deaths Monday, entering a burning home and prolonging its residents’ inevitable march toward oblivion.
      5 of 10
    • Congressmen Submit Emergency 3 AM Bill Demanding IHOP Stay Open All Night

      The bipartisan group of representatives who submitted the emergency bill late last night say they stand by it, though they don't completely remember all of the details.
      6 of 10
    • Abused Child Running Out Of Black Crayon

      7 of 10
    • President Obama Mentions He'd Like To See LeBron James In Chicago, Also That He's Leader Of The Free World

      WASHINGTON—President of the United States, basketball fan, and former Chicago resident Barack Obama once again weighed in on the future of LeBron James Wednesday, saying how much he would enjoy seeing the superstar play for the Bulls, and also that ...
      8 of 10
    • Work Friend Accidentally Becomes Real Friend

      ATLANTA—"It's like everything had shifted," Eric Phipps said. "All of a sudden, I was stopping by his cubicle to ask about his woodworking project, and he was at mine giving me the name of a good chiropractor my sister should try for her back spasms. Then somehow I suddenly had his personal e-mail address."
      9 of 10
    • Wishing Our Readers A Kick-Ass Three-Day Weekend

      10 of 10
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • Social Conventions

      • Energy

      • Women

      • Environment

      • The Week In Review

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    NEWS

    SPORTS

    ENTERTAINMENT

    LIFESTYLE

    NEWS

    SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY

    Recent News

    Apparently Facebook Friend Under Impression Ron Paul Still Running For Major Federal Office16-Year-Old Excited To Have Whole Summer To Plan Shooting For Next School YearFossilized Evidence Reveals Spazosaurus Was Largest Doofus To Ever Roam EarthAmerican Dental Association Recommends Making Your Gums Hurt Really Bad Once A DayNew Michael Bay Romantic Comedy To Focus On Love Story Between 2 ExplosionsProgressive Charter School Doesn’t Have StudentsScientists Find Link Between How Pathetic You Are, How Fast You Respond To Emails

    Recent Videos

    Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts'

    New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your DickAutopsy Of A Scene: Paul Feig Points Out How Many Ghosts Are In This Scene From 'The Heat'

    • Pretty Little Liars, "Face Time"

    • TV: TV Club: Being Mary Jane

    • TV: TV Club: Nine For IX -- Venus Vs.

    • Bi-Curious George: An Unauthorized Parody

    • WTF Stamp

    • Cheat To Win Bracelet

    • Sesame Street: 'Bert And Ernie Are Not Gay, They Are Depraved Pansexual Perverts

    • A.V. Undercover: Machester Orchestra Covers Faces' "Ohh La La"

    • New Wearable Computer Also Sucks Your Dick

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved