Cold Enough For The Ugly Coat
    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Follow @TheOnion
Show/Hide Navigation
  • Video
  • Politics
  • Sports
  • Business
  • Science/Tech
  • Entertainment
  • Breaking
  • More
    • Video
    • Politics
    • Sports
    • Business
    • Science/Tech
    • Entertainment
    • Breaking

    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•31 • Aug 2, 2010
    • Facebook53
    • Twitter33
    • Google Plus0
    • Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples

      
PRINCETON, NJ—Contraceptive manufacturer Trojan unveiled its new line of “No One’s Pleasure” condoms Wednesday, the first prophylactic specifically designed to intensify sexual dissatisfaction among bitter and resentful couples.
      1 of 9
    • Canvas Shopping Bag Celebrates Third Year On Doorknob

      2 of 9
    • Guatemalan Flight's Data-Recording Parrot Holds Clues To Crash

      Chilling audio recovered from Flight 1134's data-recording parrot, Banana, contain mentions of "altitude loss", "pretty feathers".
      3 of 9
    • Newly Discovered Documents Shed Light On Nation's Creepy Founding Uncles

      PHILADELPHIA—"The United States would not be the place it is today without these pioneering creeps," said historian Leland Collier.
      4 of 9
    • Lady Gaga Kidnaps Commissioner Gordon

      GOTHAM CITY—Supervillain Lady Gaga brazenly abducted Commis≠sioner James Gordon from a charity fundraiser Tuesday, leaving police baffled and the citizens of Gotham fearing for their safety.
      5 of 9
    • Report: Unemployment High Because People Keep Blowing Their Job Interviews

      WASHINGTON—With unemployment at its highest level in decades, the U.S. Department of Labor issued a report Tuesday suggesting the crisis is primarily the result of millions of Americans just completely blowing their job interviews.
      6 of 9
    • Lip-Reading BCS Computer Kills Officials Who Want To Shut It Down

      TEMPE, AZ—BCS 9000, the sentient heuristic computer responsible for arranging five championship bowl games at the end of each college football season, reportedly uncovered a plot to disconnect its cognitive circuits Tuesday and proceeded to kill any...
      7 of 9
    • No Reason You Can't Be Chiropractor Like Your Cousin Jeffrey

      He Makes A Very Nice Living

      DAVENPORT, IA—According to your Aunt Sharon, Jeffrey is his own boss, he can take vacation time whenever he wants, and people call him "doctor."
      8 of 9
    • Are Physical Events Truly Individuated On The Basis Of Spatio-Temporal Localization, Or Is This Merely A Convenient Ontological Mode Of Evading The Influence Of Causal Powers? 

      9 of 9
    • More Slideshows

      Start Over
      • The Week In Review

      • The Best Of God

      • Nostalgia

      • Health Care

      • Marriage

    Recently in Slideshow See More >

    Entertainment

    Lifestyle

    News

    Lifestyle

    Lifestyle

    News

    Recent News

    Gay Kid Excited To Be Made Fun Of For Second ThingRestaurant's Extreme Burger Challenge Moved Down To Regular MenuMan Eating McChicken Sandwich Can Tell McDonald's Switched Up AntibioticsKate Middleton Suffering From Morning SicknessObama Fed Grapes While Urging Press Conference To Enjoy OrgyWoman Who Cracked 3 Separate iPhone Screens Expecting Baby Boy This AugustLocal Mosque Only Rated 1.5 Stars On Yelp

    Recent Videos

    Obama Aims To Limit Civilian Casualties With Switch To Taser Drones

    Study: Anxiety Resolved By Thinking About It Real HardWeb Series Reaches 100 Views

    • Hannibal, "Trou Normand"

    • TV: TV Club: Showville

    • TV: Newswire: Turns out The Simpsons' Springfield is in Florida--and part of Universal Orlando

    • How to Traumatize Your Children Book

    • Assorted Headlines Pint Glasses

    • Cheat to Win Bracelet

    • Web Series Reaches 100 Views

    • Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket To Employment? - Dr. Good - Ep. 2

    • The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of News

    Follow The Onion

    Receive The Newsletter

    • Onion News Empire
    • The Onion Live!
    • Personals
    • FAQ
    • Contact Us
    • Jobs
    • Media Kit
    • Privacy Policy
    • Franchising
    • RSS & Apps

    The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. ©Copyright 2013 Onion Inc. All rights reserved