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    The Week In Review

    Slideshow • ISSUE 46•33 • Aug 24, 2010
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    • Desperate Pandora Employees Scrambling To Find Song Area Man Likes

      OAKLAND, CA—The headquarters of personalized online music provider Pandora remained in a state of chaos Thursday as frantic workers struggled to find a song that 32-year-old Boston subscriber Dave Lipton would enjoy.
      1 of 9
    • Superhero Never Around When Mild-Mannered Journalist David Brooks Is

      2 of 9
    • Obama Declares Victory, Sort Of, Depending On How You Look At It, In Iraq

      CAMP SPRINGS, MD—"For nearly a decade, our mission in Iraq has been to root out those who would choose violence over peace, to create a stable Iraqi government, and to transfer power to an incorruptable civilian police force," Obama said. "And, in a manner of speaking, we sort of did some of that, right? More or less?"
      3 of 9
    • 164 Closeted Gay Men Having Impressive NFL Preseason

      RUTHERFORD, NJ—As the first round of preseason games drew to a close Monday, NFL sources reported that the league's 164 closeted gay players were turning in excellent performances across the board as they battled for roster positions on the league's...
      4 of 9
    • Hollywood Rangers To Manage Overpopulation Problem By Killing Off 1,200 Celebrities

      HOLLYWOOD, CA—Calling current population levels "wildly unsustainable," rangers from the Federal Bureau of Celebrity Conservation announced this week their plan to eliminate some 1,200 celebrities from the Hollywood region.
      5 of 9
    • Fan Wins Auction For Signed Reggie Jackson

      6 of 9
    • Mysterious Crate Arrives From London

      DOCKSIDE, NEW ENGLAND—Shipman and stevedore alike confirmed that the crate is unpleasantly cold to the touch, and none reportedly wished to remain in its presence for long.
      7 of 9
    • Owner Of Cheap Motel Fixes Sign To Flicker Just Right

      8 of 9
    • Two Quarter-Filled Wine Glasses Left On A Table In Front Of A Sunset And Other Ways To Indicate That People Are Fucking In The Other Room

      9 of 9
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